Every time I time I try to casually work JP Necromancer into a comic, he ends up taking over completely. There is simply no way to work him into a strip without his ridiculousness overrunning everything. I’m not sure if it’s the dramatic storytelling of his rather mundane lifestyle or his seeming inability to do anything properly necromantic, he just dominates whatever strip he is put into.

I sometimes want to do a totally separate comic devoted to exploring the sorts of things he gets up to on a daily basis. Maybe someday I’ll get around to that.

Judging by what’s going on in this strip, I think it’s safe to say he still hasn’t got around to getting elected to any kind of political office. If he had, this would be some pretty bad publicity.

But hey, at least he’s finally working with the undead, right? He’s been a recurring character for the last 2 years and this is the first time our necromancer has actually necromanced.

It’s still a little bit early for a Halloween strip but seeing as I don’t update before Monday, I figured we’d address the topic before it is too late. And who better to guide us into the proper holiday spirit than good old Jonathan P? There is certainly no one more qualified for Halloween comic appearances.

For those of you celebrating this fine holiday, enjoy yourselves and be safe! For those of you staying at home to pass out treats, make sure you stay away from the crap candy! You don’t want some fledgling magician to curse you or set their unliving servants upon you. Make the smart choice and get some proper candy!

As for me, I will probably be at home hanging out with JP Necromancer and Sasquatch. Nothing too exciting or out of the ordinary.

Happy Halloween, folks!

Who knew the art of manipulating corpses with dark energies could be so much fun?

Probably everyone who has ever tried it.

Our good friend Jonathan P Necromancer makes his return after almost exactly a year! Apparently he and Lil K are buds now. Considering the sort of company that kid keeps, it’s not terribly surprising.

In lieu of the usual blog post where I jabber on about some topic present in the comic for the day, allow me to include this introductory page from “The Necromancer’s Handbook: A Beginner’s Beginning to the End”, a book which I have just made up and whose introductory page I have written myself. Please enjoy:

“So you’ve decided to raise the dead, but you don’t know where to start? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Within the hallowed pages that follow are various rites and rituals to help you get started with the basics of reanimating and controlling spirits, corpses, and the occasional lesser demon. Keep in mind that it is always in the best interest of the practitioner to stay within his or her skill level lest the dark powers take control!

You may be asking yourself, what is the benefit of all the hard work, the clothing stains, and the very likely criminal record I will be acquiring through my initial foray into the world of necromantic activities. While this is, indeed, a Beginner’s guide, the practical applications of the knowledge contained within, dear reader, are innumerable. Reanimating and controlling dead rodents (chapters 1 through 7), for instance, may seem trivial to the untrained, but many of the greatest Necromancers throughout history have made their fortunes with tiny rodent circuses in which their new thralls performed incredible feats. ‘Yes, but what of the zombies? What of the hordes of spirits? When will my undead army be ready for world conquest?’ you ask. We must be able to shamble slowly before we can lurch quickly, practitioner!

Now, the most important part of preparing for our practice is to choose an ideal location for manipulating the dead. Is there an ample supply of corpses nearby or will there be soon? Are there rodents, bugs, or small reptiles in the area for our first attempts? Is there a large cemetery nearby or will there be due to plague, warfare, or your own uncontrollable bloodlust for later work? These are important questions as the necromancer must always be aware of how his surroundings relate to his art. Corpses are our lifeblood, so to speak!

Now that you’ve found a suitable location, it is important to cover some of the most basic tools used in grave-wizardry. Shovels, for instance, are of great importance. Never underestimate the power of a quality digging tool in both uncovering corpses and creating new ones, should the need arise! Ritual altars, cauldrons of varying sizes, and drawing tools are also necessary in the art of necromancy and can typically be found in your local black magick shop. If no shop is available in your area, selling one’s soul (if one has not already done so) may also be an option and a way to acquire some very ghoulishly crafted implements.

So we have our location, we have our corpses, and we have our implements. All is ready for the next great Necromancer to make his or her way into the world with the undead at their command! Prepare yourself, dear reader, for the incredible power, the horrific sights, and the rather unpleasant smell that you will have to get used to!

Please continue to the next chapter: My First Familiar: The Reanimated Mouse (page 3).”

JP Necromancer is such a creep! But what did I say about him last time? He asserts himself whenever I try to put him into a comic. His love for the ladies continues to go unmatched. All ladies need some lovin’, but none need so much as the dead.

This comic hearkens back to a rich tradition of sleeping princesses in Folk tales, specifically Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. What I’ve crafted here is some strange amalgamation of the two, but the point stands: What’s with all these dudes looking to mack it to sleeping/presumably dead women? Where are they coming from and why are these people royalty? The people of the Middle Ages and Early Modern Period really should have expected better from these fellows.

Picking out a single, admittedly innocuous, issue with fairy tales may be a bit silly given that there is so much chauvinistic thinking hidden in them. Despite this, hey are really quite interesting and have formed a strong basis for popular culture in the modern West. The majority of people are keenly aware of stories like The Princess and the Pea, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, and Hansel and Gretel thanks to a combination of the Brothers Grimm and Walt Disney. It’s strange to consider that it took a team separated by a hundred years to bring such powerful tales into our lives today. Without them, a great many of these stories would probably have been forgotten.

While I do wish some aspects had been left behind (weak and ineffectual female characters anyone?) it is, on the whole, rather nice that we have this shared cultural knowledge. How else would we know about the sleep-rape or near-necrophilia our ancestors touted with such pride?

Without that knowledge, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to wake up in the morning.

I’m sure you feel the same.

**UPDATE: The new site is working, we’re fixing up the last of the kinks and working on fixing some of the extraneous stuff like those neat buttons on the side and recreating the rather simple store we had on the old site! This should all be worked out in the next week! Comics resume on Tuesday!**

This comic is about how sometimes we just happen to fall into love without really searching for it. Just kidding guys, it’s about necrophilia. Enjoy it!

Jonathan P. Necromancer makes his triumphant return. I had always envisioned him as a recurring character, but there’s something powerful about him. He asserts himself in whatever comic I write and that’s not always a good thing. I wrote this strip a while ago and kept it on the back burner but it gives him the space he needs to own the strip!

There isn’t a ton to be said about JP Necromancer at this point. His name implies (and rightly so) that his primary motivation as a character involves corpses. Little did we know just how deep that motivation ran. I guess he can’t really relate to normal humans.

Whatever happened to that race for Selectman, anyway? Maybe we’ll hear more about his political aspirations in future strips!

Anyway, sorry for the slightly late update! Ran into some technical issues and lost my colours at one point then had to go out for the night but I fought through with only 2 hours of sleep to finish it early in the day! Hooray!

This comic is one small step for happle tea and one giant leap for all mankind. That is right, I am talking about the inclusion of Necromancers in web comics. Sure, people toss the word around, some might even include a poorly drawn character that they call a necromancer, but is it really? I submit that these people have failed. That said, I have taken up the mantle of responsibility and given the fans what they clamor for: dudes in capes that create and command the undead.

Expect to see more of Jonathan P. Necromancer, my friends. He is just too funny as a character to let him go. Why is he running for Selectman of all positions? Poor guy clearly has no ambition. I know that if I had necromantic powers, I would take nothing less than absolute control of the entire earth. After that, I would probably get bored and draw silly pictures and let somebody else do all the work. Ruling the world is just too much responsibility, I suspect. Perhaps that is the true wisdom of J.P. Necromancer.

I have been absolutely swamped with work lately from school but I carry on, fueled by your comments, your laughs, and your tears. Thank you, good happle tea readers, your support is delicious.