I’ve always wondered why God did the things he did, particularly in the Old Testament. Giving it some thought, it becomes pretty obvious. I mean, what else was he going to do? When all you’ve got is an ant hill and a magnifying glass, some folks are bound to start incinerating some ants.

I suppose it’s a little too much to ask that the individual in question just observe the ants and leave their tiny lives in tact.

Omnipotent beings clearly cannot be trusted.

But seriously, the story of Job is probably one of the most confusing and contentious tales told in the hallowed pages of an already pretty confusing and contentious book known as The Bible. The Old Testament bits are particularly confusing in their portrayal of God, a being whose personality nobody seems to really agree on anyway. It’s really when you take the New Testament bits and compare them to the Old Testament that things start to seem a little weird. The story of Jesus and the redemption of mankind through his sacrifice paints a portrait of Yaweh that seems more inclusive and inviting and a little more consistent overall. The Old Testament, on the other hand, is all about a god that is fiery, tempestuous, and very flawed when looked at through the lens of modern morality. No story highlights the dubious Old Testament morality of Yaweh better than Job.

In the tale, Job is a very successful, healthy man with a large family and a great many animals in his flocks. Job is Hebrew and a devout worshiper of Yaweh, who has seen fit to rain blessings down upon him throughout his life for his faith. All of this ends one day when Satan points out that perhaps Job is only faithful because of the wealth he has received and because of the protection that God offers him. God, apparently just to prove a point, removes his blessings and his protections and Job subsequently suffers misfortune after misfortune at the hands of Satan. His crops wither, his animals die, his sons and daughters all perish, and Job himself falls terribly ill but isn’t killed. Job is bereft. He has nothing and no one but his wife who wonders why he doesn’t curse God and though he questions why this has happened to him, he never quite gets around to accusing God of anything. In the end, God answers Job in a rather unsatisfactory way. When Job demands answers for his treatment, God simply tells him about what it is like to be the Creator and then tells him that he need not answer questions from his creation. He restores Job to health and wealth and Job has new children to replace the old dead ones (nice, one God!) and ultimately Job lives on for another 140 years or so.

Scholars differ on what, exactly, this story is about and what it means. There are those who believe it is really about a man maintaining his faith in spite of adversity and being rewarded for it. There are also those that believe that Job’s unquestioning nature is what keeps the punishments coming. There are some that take it just as an explanation for why God does not answer our questions.

If you take the story literally, the whole thing is a bit of a travesty. Just another instance of an omnipotent deity being needlessly cruel to make a point that isn’t even clear in the end. The story of Job is one that makes atheists of former believers and those that were on the fence about the whole God thing.

To me, God’s treatment of Job is clearly an act of boredom from a deity that has nothing better to do. If only he’d had some TV to watch! Maybe then he could have enjoyed the thrilling adventures in Game of Thrones and left poor Job alone.

Who knows, maybe that’s part of why God’s been so silent lately!

Thanks to my brother Jonathan for helping me with this strip idea!

You know what they say, one man’s nightmare is another man’s sexual fantasy.

Wait, is that how the saying goes?

The baku is a very well known and popular supernatural creature in Japan and has been for hundreds of years. A tapir-like chimera that is usually depicted with the trunk of an elephant, the paws of a tiger, and the tail of an ox that eats dreams and nightmares may seem a little frightening at first, second, or even third glance, but since the idea was brought to Japan from China in the 14th Century, these little guys have been looked to for assistance in the dream world. Their purpose is actually considered quite beneficial to humans. Consuming bad dreams and nightmares helps sleepers start their day in a more peaceful fashion. Waking up from a nightmare can be quite disturbing, but the Baku is always willing to lend a helping hand. In this sense, the baku acts similarly to Objibwa dreamcatchers, though unlike an inanimate dreamcatcher, the baku is thought to possess free will. Many people waking from nightmares or having trouble sleeping have called out for help from this strange spirit creature but stories tell us that bakus also roam through the dream world, consuming nightmares before they reach humans and destroying the demons and monsters that make them as well. Some tales even say that bakus help to fight off sickness and plagues which are sometimes thought to come from the realm of dreams.

I guess the problem starts to come in when trying to define what a nightmare is. Something that seems horrifying to me might be a very erotic moment for someone else. Let’s just say I don’t envy the baku’s job at all, these poor things have been probably seen some shit. I’d be surprised if they didn’t all suffer some kind of post traumatic stress disorder from their experiences. I imagine a bunch of old bakus gathering in a small room for group therapy, sharing their experiences, trying to find some kind of sanity.

Humans are pretty scary creatures. The things our brains come up with can be absolutely astounding. I’m pretty sure I’d be traumatized after about two minutes spent in someone else’s dreams.

On a somewhat unrelated note, it’s sad that I don’t get the chance to do more comics about Asian and African divinities and creatures. A lot of people ask me to get to this story or that monster but it’s hard when you write the way I do. I try not to force people to read the blog for some context on what’s in the strip, instead treating them as separate entities that go hand in hand. Usually, the only option for topics that I consider less well-known is to give you some context in the first panel, but that can be a little clumsy. One of my goals this year is to work on that problem and to come up with better ways to tackle topics that may be unfamiliar to western readers in the comic.

That’s my dream anyway.

Hopefully a passing baku doesn’t decide to eat it! O ho ho!

Christian dating (and by extension, most religious dating sites and programs) is such a weird concept. A lot of people have this image of the G-man as some kind of super-dad, always looking after them, but who would seriously go to their dad to set them up on dates? That’s just weird. Add to the mix the fact that this dude is supposedly always watching us…I just don’t know.

I guess it’s a great system for people that enjoy a voyeuristic third party involved in their love lives. I’m sure some people are into that.

When I was just a little lad growing up in a fairly Christian household, I remember finding the idea of a very watchful and omnipresent deity very disturbing. I took issue with it at a very personal level, really wondering why my privacy would have to be invaded to such a degree, and for what purpose, in the end? Just to make sure I wasn’t doing something silly like wearing clothes made of different materials or eating shell fish? It’s like, come on, God, that’s just not a good enough reason! Why do you care about my threads anyway!?

Being that concerned about holding on to the mystery of the fibers I choose to wrap myself in, you can imagine that religiously oriented dating would never really be up my alley, though I do understand the appeal. When you believe every minute interaction in the universe is being orchestrated by deft but unsubstantiated hands, it seems like a good bet to trust to the divine plan. Too bad it’s pretty obvious that the man upstairs hasn’t got a thing to do with these goofy websites. If he did, every date would be a massive success leading to absolutely no per-marital sex whatsoever (if you can even call that success!). Unfortunately, I’m certain that’s not the case. I guess the only true appeal is that you might find someone with similar beliefs as you, but you could just as easily do that at church and get free crackers and wine out of the deal.

Even considering the rather lackluster quality of the refreshments, it still seems better than throwing wads of cash out the window to me, but hey, what do I know?

And so ends the usual portion of the blog post.

I just wanted to apologize (again) for missing so many comics, this time it was a rather unacceptable length of time to miss a strip, but honestly, there was not much else I could do. I mentioned in a previous post that I had tried taking some medication for the anxiety problems I’ve been experiencing for years and spoke about how badly it affected me. Well, that was only the tip of the side-effects iceberg. After suffering from sleepless nights, panic attacks, and mild nausea, I started to develop more and more severe acid reflux which eventually culminated in about 2 and a half weeks of misery. It got to the point where I was sleeping 2 hours a night and eating about a quarter of the food I would normally eat due to the nausea and illness, if I ate anything at all. It’s not exactly easy to write and draw comics (or do much of anything) when you’re dealing with that sort of thing.

Anyway, I’ve started taking some acid reflux medication and it is helping significantly. I’m feeling loads better and I decided it was high time I got back to work and doing comics. I don’t anticipate relapsing into that state so comics are back on!

See you guys again on Friday!

Damn, that Thor sure has some powerful burps!

Music, generally speaking, has always been about getting it on, one way or another. At least back in the day, they had to work at it.

I don’t expect it will be long before I turn on the radio and hear a thumping bass-driven pop song whose only lyrics are “Let’s fuck” repeated endlessly.

Music.

Some people like to blame the devil for all the sexuality and cursing in music.

I blame Keith Sweat.

Get at me, Sweat.

Get at me.

I have a thousand jokes about dryads, it’s really quite ridiculous. I only do comics about other topics to give you all a brief reprieve from the dryads.

Spring is here in the North East and, as usual, I can’t really help but commemorate the changing of seasons with a goofy comic strip.

I’ve always found Satyrs and Fauns a rather fun concept. Dudes with goat-like features traipsing about the forest, lusting after ladies of all sorts is kind of hilarious. Despite their goat-like features, there’s something quintessentially human about them. Lovers of wine, women, and music, they always seemed to be engaged in living a very physical and pleasurable life. Greek art and mythology is often very sexual, so the Satyrs’ predilections and focus on getting it on don’t really come as any surprise. What is somewhat surprising, however, is the origin of the satyr as a kind of old and ugly monster and its gradual concept-shift toward becoming a figure of youthfulness, freedom, and the natural world. This shift seems to be a microcosm of the same adjustments we see in the rest of Greek myth. Most of the deities and nature spirits began their existence as part of a more animist tradition; personifications of natural events and formations. Deities that were, at one point, far less rich and textured (and far less human) evolved in the minds of the people as a more humanist perspective took root in Greece. Where Zeus was probably once more of an abstract concept, he later became the womanizing, highly powerful and sexual figure we know today. The same happened for the satyrs and nymphs of the woods.

With this shift, what was once probably a frightening creature became a source of humor and a reflection of the pleasure seeking behavior of the people that created it. Satyrs were always ready for another cup of wine and always ready to bed a lovely nymph or lady.

I imagine they were always on the lookout for moments like the one in today’s comic. Winter rolls in and the trees lose their leaves, so what do they do? Check out the now naked dryads! The cold months probably weren’t so bad for them. Though, I can’t say I’d envy the dryads, shivering away in their trees while perverse little goat-men leered at them from the bushes.

Anyway, sorry for the late strip! Better late than never, though, right?

Sasquatch, man, that is just too stylish!

So maybe you’re wondering where I’ve been these last two weeks… Seeing as this is a pretty simple comic that doesn’t require much blog post, I’ll fill you in.

Let me start by saying that this isn’t meant to be some kind of livejournal-esque sob story about my life. I’m just letting you guys know what’s been up. If you don’t really care about that sort of thing, no worries, just skip the post!

As many of you know from some comics I’ve done and blogs I’ve written on the subject, I’ve been dealing with an anxiety disorder for a number of years now. It’s nothing that usually keeps me from getting my work done or focusing on improving myself in my own way, but I tend to get very sick whenever I have important activities to do that require social interaction. It’s been difficult to deal with because unlike a lot of other people that suffer from this sort of thing, there’s not really a mental component to it. I don’t stress about stuff or worry, I just get into situations and get ridiculously nauseous. Anyway, I’ve finally got a doctor and have been going to appointments and trying therapy and whatnot and it was suggested that I should try some medication. I’ve always had problems taking medicine of any kind so I’ve stayed away from it for a very long time but, having dealt with this stuff for about six years now, I decided maybe it was time to try what my doctor was telling me.

Big mistake.

I tried some meds for a few days and suffered some of the worst nausea and panic I’ve ever experienced in my life. I woke up after the first night (after waking up constantly through the night) at 12:30 in the afternoon and couldn’t get out of bed until 2:30 and I kept feeling sick for days. I only took the meds for a couple of nights but the effects lasted for about a week. It wasn’t a pleasant experience

Part of why I decided to try the medication was that, for the first time in a very long time, I was feeling down about making comics. I love writing and I love drawing comics but it’s not easy to do. It’s hard to keep putting content out there and sometimes feeling underappreciated. It’s hard to visit sites like Reddit sometimes and see some of the stuff that gets upvoted there. Comics that are just really vapid observations with no twist or joke or even anything insightful get huge upvotes and really clever stuff (not even talking about my own work) falls by the wayside. It was just…depressing to me. But whatever, such is life, right?

After taking the meds and finally recovering from that stuff, it was hard to recover from the lingering general blah-ness I was feeling beforehand. I’m sorry I let it get in the way of doing something I love and something that I like to share with the world.

I realize that there’s no point in getting upset about stuff like that. It’s up to me to push myself and make content other people will find some joy in and it’s up to me to share the things I think deserve some love. I’m feeling a whole lot better this week and I’m planning to get back to writing every day and getting comics done on time. I’d really like to do a full five days of strips (monday through friday) in the next week or two to help make up for what I’ve missed!

Thanks to everyone for your concern and thanks to everyone that reads and shares the comic. You’re all awesome and I will try not to let stupid stuff get to me again!

In light of my observations about sharing good stuff here are some totally awesome comics that I really enjoy:

MercWorks
The Abominable
Ellie on Planet X

You may think this method of fossil hunting is cheating, but that’s what I call working smart! Dr. Marcy is set for life!

It’s gotta be real annoying to bury all of those frickin’ things only for them to be dug up later by paleontologists…but then again I guess that’s sort of the point.

I hear the devil buries those things to blind us to the truth: that dinosaurs actually still exist in a secret lost world somewhere off the coast of Africa.

But seriously (or as seriously as I can be about something as ludicrous as this) the idea that the devil goes around planting fossils in the ground is one of those weirdly popular concepts in the more conservative Christian households throughout America (and probably elsewhere). It all starts with the fact that these individuals’ brains (or lack thereof) require the Bible to be absolutely one hundred percent literal. Now, if you actually read the Bible it doesn’t say much about evolution or its authenticity. One might assume that this would end the debate right then and there, but one would be wrong on that count. This unique brand of Christianity believes that the whole 7 days to create the Earth thing is a fact and that when God created the animals he created them all then and there and then moved along to do something else, never to return to the task. When scientists show these people dinosaur bones, a clearly extinct animal, they shake their heads at such preposterous “evidence”. To them, either Dinosaurs either lived with Adam and Eve six thousand years ago when the world was created (and thus, can be no older) or they have to be some kind of trick sent from the devil to make them question the Bible.

Personally, I like that second image. The idea that this poor bastard has to go around and dig his way down into the earth to place these fossils just to try to fool a few hardcore believers is absolutely hilarious. I mean, there are so many questions. Does he enjoy this line of work? Is he disappointed that some people still haven’t fallen for these tricks? How exactly does he take care of this? Does he use some kind of sorcery or is he left to use a shovel? Does God approve of these antics or does he just not care?

While we’re thinking about this, where does he get the bones from in the first place? Does he have to make them? The logistics of this operation are actually pretty staggering now that I’m really thinking about it.

Anyway, I could write a big long blog post about the merits of evolution and paleontology but sane people are already on board with all that and berating people that don’t live in reality with the rest of us seems like a waste of time to me.

On the off chance that I’m wrong, I have to say that I’d feel really bad for Satan. That dude has put in a ton of work for something that is, ultimately, pretty stupid.

At least his work looks really cool in museums.

Members of the noble bunny clan are known throughout the land for being adorable and cuddly. Unfortunately, when war reared its ugly head, bunny clan could not be found. They had somehow managed to fit their entire clan into a single rabbit warren.

They went into the warren with a few hundred clan members and came out with fifty thousand.

People often send me emails asking me to cover certain topics or wondering why I don’t do more comics of X culture’s mythology. Part of the problem with doing comics and blog posts is that I like to be fairly confident in my knowledge on a given subject so that when I write a post, I don’t end up getting fifty comments about how I’m an idiot and messed something up. Creating content for this site is no easy feat, my friends. Given the massive amount of mythology and folklore out there, it is very easy to be wrong about something when you’re trying to study as much of it as you can.

One of the subjects I’m terribly interested in but haven’t found many good books for is Native American mythology and folklore. The major issue being that “Native American” isn’t really a thing. The Americas were and are the home of a great many distinct language and cultural groups with many unique mythological and folkloric traits. While they do share some things in common, they have just as many differences. What I’m getting at is that it’s pretty difficult for me to come up with comics and posts about the people native to the Americas and feel confident.

That said, I’ve been reading a bit about the Ojibwe people of North America and about animist traditions in shamanic cultures across the globe. One of the common practices in animist and shamanistic cultures is the identification of clans and clan totems. Clans (family groups with a perceived common ancestor) each have their own totem, an animal that symbolizes the purpose and represented the mythic past of that group of people. While some people in a clan may actually be blood-related, many are not though members of the same clan are typically reated as family. The clan system was, and still is in some areas, a vital part of interpersonal relationships and a way of understanding social interactions between different regional groups.

The totem animal is a very important part of this kind of social structure not related to the way the “New Age” movement views it. Rather than being a kind of personal spiritual guide that an individual chooses of his or her own accord, the totem is a symbol of the family group and applied to members of a family as they are born. This animal (sometimes a plant, in certain cultures) is usually seen as contributing to the success of a clan in the mythical past and there are many stories about the interactions between clans and their totem animals in the folklore of these cultures. Due to this relationship, a clan’s totem animal is considered as much a brother or sister as any human and, in the case of many cultures sharing this tradition, harming or killing a clan animal is as bad as harming or killing a human member of your clan.

It’s interesting to note how widespread this tradition has been. While I’ve mostly been reading about the Ojibwe version of this concept, it has also been noted in every continent in the world at some point in history.

Despite its wide-spread nature, I’m pretty sure there haven’t been many bunny clans. Hares? Probably. Bunnies? Having your clan represented by a fat rabbit may be funny, but I don’t imagine it’d be very impressive to other clans!

I guess you don’t need to be impressive when you can stupefy your enemies with cuteness, though…

Bunny clan forever!

The future of the Catholic Church is bright, my friends. A woman hired by the Vatican? That is some serious progress…even if it isn’t meaningful in any way.

It’s a bit like this nonsense about how amazing it is that the Cardinals elected a Pope from South America. It’s totally revolutionary! It’s a first in the history of the Catholic Church…unless you count all of the other times it happened.

It seems like people on both sides of aisle were surprised and had a few things to say about the election of the new Pope. Atheists seemed surprised that the guy is a Catholic leader with very specific views on topics the Catholic leadership will not budge on for generations to come, namely gay rights and contraception. Members of the flock seemed impressed that he’s from South America and has actually given more than a moment’s thought and a dollar in the basket for the poor and disenfranchised. While I’m certainly ready to give him kudos for his stance on the poor, it seems like his view should have been the official message coming from the Vatican for years, specifically for about two thousand years. It’s not like Jesus wasn’t clear about that particular issue throughout his entire adult life. I guess it’s easy to confuse caring for the poor and espousing the merits of being poor with a mandate to found your own nation with a massive golden palace dedicated to your own hubris.

Can you tell I’m not fond of the hypocrisy?

The fact is that the new Pope is more or less the same as the old Pope when it comes to the “difficult” questions of human rights and human health. Yeah, it’s great he doesn’t totally hate the poor but nobody with a heart does. It’s not as if there is some massive opposition movement against helping the poor.

Oh, woops, there I go forgetting about Corporate America again.

It’s certainly a little sad that such influential institutions seem to cling to the past with such fervency, but I suppose that’s sort of the point. I mean, where else can people terrified of things they simply don’t understand turn to for validation if places like the Vatican actually change in a meaningful and fundamental way? Besides, if the Vatican supports something as ludicrously simple as safe sexual interaction using contraceptives or promotes the rights of all human beings rather than just heterosexuals living in monogamous relationships and only having sex to procreate, I’m pretty sure the entire universe will implode.

I’ll stop with the sarcasm now, I know it doesn’t read well.

While others may look to the Pope for guidance or leadership, I sort of hope he doesn’t do much of anything. You can’t mess things up too badly if you don’t say anything at all.

Good luck, Pope Francis. May you not fuck things up as some of your predecessors.