Even acting at his best, Nicholas Cage is clearly a soulless husk set forth by wizards to terrorize the populace with his painful portrayals of actual human beings. I can’t decide if this is awful or interesting. A wicker construct playing at life as an actor seems terribly ironic. Sasquatch knows it’s true!

The sad part is, nothing can be funnier than the reality of the man himself.

For those of you that have never seen The Wicker Man starring Nicholas Cage, I highly recommend you watch it. Not because it’s good. No, of course not that. But rather, because it is hilarious. He punches a woman square in the face. He screams something about bees, and he is ultimately burned alive. Did I ruin the movie? No. The movie ruined itself. For examples, click the Nicholas Cage link above, you won’t be disappointed.

I’ve begun including links to supplemental material. You should browse them, I hope they will bring you happiness.