The Gift of Murder
I was thinking about these characters I’ve created and adapted for the comic and when I thought about how hard it was to get gifts for some people I know, I realized that Lil K has it far worse. I mean, what, exactly, do you get or make for an elusive, forest dwelling monster and a God that likes to take the form of a cat? That’s a tough call. Prayers are a bit too theoretical and besides, the guy gets them all the time. He doesn’t need material things, seeing as how he can just magick up whatever the hell he wants. No…this Christmas gift requires research. It requires…finesse.
By finesse, I’m talking about sacrifices, known in some parts of the world as murder.
It’s a bit surprising that some enterprising company hasn’t come up with holiday gifts for the deity of your choice. There’s a market just waiting to be tapped there. Have your kids order a sacrificial beanie baby and we’ll throw in a fruit cake for free!
I think there’s something wrong with me at this time of the year. My holiday comics tend to be full of cussin’ and murder. I must have suffered some serious Christmas trauma at a young age that I’ve somehow suppressed. This is the second holiday comic for this year and we’re two for two on murder, or at the very least, implied murder.
This time of year is a bit strange, from a religious point of view. It’s a time originally intended by folks for worship and recognition of dark days filled with the light of religion, family, and friends. Those people were pagans. Zing, Christianity! Take that! But in all seriousness, Christians, having co-opted the Yule festivities, took with them many of the core principles of the holiday season. Worship has been featured heavily for hundreds of years and only recently, with the coming of the great Lord Capitalism, and his trusted ally, Commercial Culture, has it taken on a more consumerist tone. What’s a God to do in times like these? Not being a God, I can’t really say for sure, but I imagine these are dark days. Where people once chanted your name and prayed for whatever, things must be a lot more quiet now. Parts of the world are still deeply devout and that’s almost certainly a bittersweet experience for the G-man. It’s like an echo of times gone by, a scent that reminds you of the glory days, or a snippet of a song that takes you back to when you were a god-kid.
The memories come flooding back and it’s pleasant, but you know you can never have them again. You sigh, a world-weary godly sigh. Ahhh…
I’d like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. To the Christians, I hope the season is a good one and that you remember your deity. To everyone, I hope you enjoy your family and friends and remember the people you wouldn’t normally be concerned with. Everyone deserves a little cheer and kindness every day, but if you can’t manage that, at least give it a shot for a few weeks. To people working retail: you have my sympathies. If you desire, you may put it in your will that you’d like me to come speak at your funeral should you perish in these dark times. Include travel expenses and I will gladly show up, much to the bewilderment of family and friends alike. Incomprehensible tales about the heroic feats you never performed will be heard.
Merry Christmas, folks. <3