Is it just me or are the side effects on pharmaceuticals becoming more and more terrifying? Pretty soon it seems like those side effects may become the cures themselves. Acid reflux? Take this pill, it will destroy your esophagus. No more reflux! Hearing voices? Now you’re deaf. Depression? These pills will cause you to commit suicide, now you don’t have to worry about anything, nevermind your depression!

It’s not a side effect, it’s a feature.

I think the only thing worse than drug side effects are the commercials. If I have to see a sad animated grey blob complain about its depression one more time, I’ll probably need to be heavily medicated myself.

All joking aside, medicine has come a long way from the hocus pocus and spirit healing of generations past. While there are flaws in the fabric of the modern medical industry, the benefits certainly outweigh the costs. The scientific results of the last last century speak volumes. Humans now live far longer and more healthier lives than they did a hundred years ago. While it’s true that we seem to have lost something personal in the exchange (not having your own personal medicine man with less than a hundred patients is a bitch), I don’t think that going back to faith healing, shamanic medicine practices, or crystal healers is a step forward.

The major issue with medicine today is simply the number of people in the world that need help. Trying to create drugs with mass market appeal that will also not completely ruin the human body is difficult at best. Though we all share nearly identical DNA, our individual chemistry is as unique as our perspective. To make drugs that solve common problems across wide swaths of a diverse population…that’s almost miraculous.

Still, it doesn’t stop those side effects from being absolutely ridiculous.

On that note, I am required, by law, to inform you that the side effects of Happle Tea comics include but are not limited to:

-aural and tactile hallucinations
-god complex
-itchy underarms
-unusual urges to gamble
-man-boobies (even for women)
-crying spells
-Ben Franklin’s disease
-cravings for human flesh
-necromantic powers
-foot odor

Please contact your doctor immediately if any of these conditions arise.