Not The Same
Poor Jesus, if only he’d been as capable as those people competing in eating contests, maybe he would have survived…
Many of my readers are or were Christian or are familiar with the Christian religion so this blog post probably doesn’t need to be exhaustive in its content. Jesus, in Christian mythology, is thought to be the son of God and the spiritual savior of mankind. To many Christians, (though not all) his death, via crucifixion, is a transformative process for both him and for humanity. By allowing himself to be crucified according to God’s will, Jesus accepts the sins of mankind and brings everyone who accepts his divine nature into the embrace of God. The idea here is that it is through Jesus, his teachings and his death, that Yahweh becomes the god of all mankind rather than simply the god of the Jewish people.
It’s all very serious stuff to devout Christians and it’s hard not to take it seriously when one sees the rather gruesome images of Jesus nailed to some pieces of wood.
Then again, it’s not hard to imagine other outcomes where he died in some other, more ridiculous fashion. This is the sort of thing I think about on a pretty regular basis. Along with this thought, I’m forced to wonder if people would be as ready to wear a giant hamburger necklace to commemorate their savior’s noble sacrifice as they are to wear the rather unobtrusive crosses they wear currently. It would be hard to make that look anything but ridiculous. I’m sure Flava Flav would wear it, but what wouldn’t that guy wear?
As if it weren’t enough that he died in a pretty grisly fashion, now Jesus has to endure jokes about eating hamburgers to death. At least he and any of his offended followers can console themselves with the fact that if they’re right, I’m almost certainly going to hell.
I wonder if they serve burgers down there?
Discussion (35) ¬
rose and asked what? 😮
haha woops…I always forget that quotes don’t work in hovertext…
does sticking a backslash “\” before it make it a literal character, or am i mixing up my scripting and programming languages.
powderedhand LOL
So does this mean that Buddhists should start wearing emblems of pork chops around their necks?
Sure, why not? And assign food based emblems for all the other religions.
When I noticed cat-god without his halo I imagined that lil’k was just saying this to an ordinary cat that had taken up residence on his head.
it instantly because x2 as funny.
Burger Christ?
Burger Messiah
There’s a minor error: it should be “a hundred hamburgers” – not “an”. Otherwise, great comic! Keep up the good work. 🙂
No, ‘an hundred’ is accurate to the King James style. It’s a lovely attention to detail and it made me very happy to see.
I imagine there should be burgers in hell–instant charbroiled burgers that never get cold. Mmm.
this is a lot like how one of my favorite religious jokes goes: Jesus is told that he will die for mankind, but as a token of kindness he is allowed to choose between being crucified or being stung to death by bees. Jesus isn’t too into bees so he decides to go for being crucified instead. the moral of this is that’s why Catholics cross themselves instead of going “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” *slapslapslap*
Gats…?
If he had been drowned, they’d all carry buckets of water on their heads constantly.
reminds me of the good old “jesus died for our dunkin’ donuts”
http://www.flickr.com/photos/deltao/3397826907/
Jesus died for our sins… But he didn’t stay dead. Jesus sacrificed his weekend for our sins.
Hmm food in relation to religions?
Talk about heavenly food!
*ba dum tiss*
Okay…so I suck at two liners…
my one liners are worse!
Yeah, those burgers must be simply… Divine.
Don’t worry, I brought a one-liner for you. There are plenty of them to go around.
Hmm… What would the icon be for a religion in which Jesus died of witnessing a truly terrible one-liner?
‘Course then Christians would probably be forbidden from eating hamburgers.
Somehow i imagine it very fitting IF Jesus died from eating chocolate. Then the chocolate easter bunny will have another layer of symbolism.
And would almost start to make sense. 😉
So there’s that tabletop RPG, that lets you play angels (Magna Veritas) or demons (In Nomine Satanis).
There also was a party demons, sent back in time, to save guy Jesus from crucifixion, martyrdom, and ultimately foil the divine plan.
But they were racist skinheads, and he was a Jew (cue annoying skater-poser music). They then proceeded to drown him in the Jordan river, as all time-travelling skin devils are wont to do.
Back to the end of the twentieth century, the christian symbol is a drop of water.
*a party of demons
Too bad he was about 800 years too early for being drawn and quartered. Having four horses as the symbol of your faith would be pretty bitchin’.
What about the Jesus fish? That’s also a symbol of Christianity, but it focuses on the things he did in life instead of in death/afterlife.
I’m a Christian, but I love all of your comics, regardless of what they talk about, including this one. It’s interesting to see you refer to Christianity as mythology. I’m not complaining, I live in Texas, so it is very religious here. It’s really interesting to see the other side of the spectrum on religion and all, seeing how other people do see Christianity as mythology along with the Greek gods and such. Your comics are amazing though, and I love reading them.
I recently started saying “Jesus on a stick” as a alternative explective. Then I realized what I was saying. I thought about it for a good 5 seconds, then I just kept on saying it. (Although I am more conscientious about where I say it)
This is extra funny to me because I thought of this exact same joke a couple years ago, and wrote about a cult that wore little toasters around their neck in remembrance of their prophet who was electrocuted in a bathtub.
hahah Great minds think alike! *high five*
What i want to know is if they still eat burgers or not. If they did i can imagine them serving burgers instad of those little cracers during mass
If they do server hamburgers down other, I’m sure they would be flame-broiled and to die for 🙂
Wow I read that just after I typed it….I’m sure you can decipher it though haha! *sleepy grin*
…bed time for me!
The sign of the cross would be totally different, too. Imagine if Christ had died by stoning. Folks would be smashing their closed fist against face, chest, shoulders, belly, everywhere, as hard as they could.