Being in a relationship with another human being is a lot like exploring a cave. They often seem shallow at first, easily explored and easily mapped, but there are secrets. There are tunnels and chambers of the human soul that house dark and terrible things. Impossible creatures, sightless monstrosities, diseases and horrors that no reasonable individual could imagine lurk in those depths and populate the darkness.

You start dating someone and you have expectations. You expect that this person you have, in some small way, committed yourself to is a reasonable creature.

Then you find out that they practice black magic and regularly make sacrifices to fiendish deities.

You think to yourself, ‘maybe I can live with this’.

Warlocks are just one of the many terrible things you could be dating right now without even knowing it! Those of you that are fortunate enough to be single, count your blessings. The rest of you, gather your holy water. It may help if your significant other is a lower ranking practitioner of the dark arts.

Here are some helpful tips to help you recognize a witch or warlock in your own home:

1. Watch your S.O’s mouth closely. If they begin to salivate at the sight of babies, you’ve probably got trouble.

2. Check their closet (when they’re not looking, obviously) for wands, cauldrons, tomes, and James Patterson novels. Evidence of any of the above may indicate vile sorceries.

3. Take note of any hell borne monstrosities that may reside in your home. If found, inquire politely about who summoned it.

4. Pay attention to the websites your boyfriend or girlfriend visits. Keywords such as “satan”, “black magic”, “demons”, and “Jersey Shore” can be early warning signs that your loved one may be possessed by demonic forces.

I hope these tips have helped you better understand the forces of darkness and how they may be hiding amongst your family and friends.

Be ever vigilant!

In other news, sorry for the late strip and blog post. End of the school and all that. Next week is only a single exam then I’ve got critique and I’m done! I’m so excited! This summer I will be working on publishing the very first happle tea book AND I will be starting my graphic novel! Oo la la!

Hope finals for everyone are going well! Good luck college people!