This happens to me all the time and each time, it is terrifying; more terrifying than Dracula because ticks are real and Dracula is kind of a douche. I think I could take him in a fight. I could probably take a tick in a fight as well, but it would just be really hard to see and my vision is not perfect.

Ticks are awful little things, they’re one of the few creatures on this earth that I really despise. It could be the fact that they’re gross and like to suck your blood and, unlike Dracula, they won’t sleep with you before-hand. It could also be the fact that I once had Lyme Disease. Lyme disease is no laughing matter folks, not unless you turn it into a joke. Maybe something about putting the Lyme in the coconut, I don’t know. Needless to say, actually having Lyme Disease is a wretched experience. I was left a smoking husk of a human for something like a month, feeling nothing but incredible tiredness and pain. The worst part of the whole thing is that I only ended up missing something like a week of classes. That was the real bummer.

If you don’t want to be phenomenally ill during the summer, please check yourselves for ticks if you’ve been outside rolling about in the grass (as I so often do) or if you’ve been running around in the forest or just hanging out around various tick playgrounds.

And while you’re at it, keep an eye out for Draculas. They’re pretty nasty too.