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Are Poison Control Centers equipped to deal with the complications of incredibly expired milk and fae anatomy? I have my doubts.

Why do they even have that milk? Is it even milk anymore? Probably not. I imagine it has gone through many changes in its long existence. It has probably gone from liquid to solid and back many many times.

It is clearly not fit for consumption by anything, fae or otherwise.

In the folklore of Scotland and Northern England, there have been a great many varieties of fae-folk. One of the more beneficial creatures was the Brownie or Brounie (I’ve used the latter for clarity’s sake in the comic and I will continue with it here in the blog post), also known as the Urisk in Lowland Scotland (though the Urisk has some slightly different characteristics). When a brounie has taken an interest in one’s home it typically moves in to some unused space within the house itself, taking up residence and carefully watching the actions of the humans that reside there. While there have been some larger manors and homes that are said to have acquired brounie residents, most of them choose to live in poorer homes to help the human inhabitants with their duties and chores.

Brounies are clever creatures, typically described as being around 3 feet tall, but they have been depicted as much shorter (I chose to show them very small for the sake of the art). They are king things but with an odd streak in them. They take offense at being spoken directly to, preferring instead for humans to speak as if talking to themselves, allowing them to hear the troubles that bother men and women so that they might help. They like their privacy, never moving into rooms that are occupied by people, and some varieties (such as the Urisk) don’t even move into homes, but instead choose to live by notable landmarks in the area surrounding them, such as waterfalls, logs, and particularly nice caves. The brounie watches servants and children like a hawk and will complete any left undone, but they have been said to punish lazy individuals within the household in small ways.

For all the work they provide, brounies expect some kind of small payment, usually a bowl of milk or cream or a bit of honey. When you provide this reward, you must not call it a payment or they will take great offense and leave the house at once. Another way to lose the help of your brounie is to offer it clothes, one of the major characteristics of JK Rowling’s character, Dobby the House Elf.

One of the possible reasons that brounies don’t inhabit larger homes was that there were far more clothes lying around for the poor things to think were gifts. Poorer households in Scotland and England usually had only one or two sets of clothes.

There’s a story about a place called the House of Maxwell, that was supposedly inhabited by a brounie who was very close to the master’s daughter. When the daughter went into labor, the river nearby was flooding and the night was stormy. The loyal and courageous brounie grabbed a coat and a horse and rode off to fetch the midwife at once. He arrived safely and lead the woman, who thought him a particularly small servant on the murky night, to his mistress. As they traveled, she fearfully mentioned that they should avoid a nearby pool, thinking it the home of a brounie. Her companion laughed and said, “Have no fear goodwife, for you have met all the brounies you are likely to meet on this night!” The two made it to their destination and the master of the house and his daughter were both eternally grateful. The master, wanting to show his appreciation, offered to baptize the brounie, hoping to give him the benefit of eternal salvation. As the holy water touched the little fellow, he disappeared forever.

If your home happens to attract the attention of a helpful brounie, try your best not to offend them!

…or baptize them.

……or leave clothes out for them.

………..or feed them ancient milk.

I guess what I’m saying is, be careful in dealing with them!

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