From the Distant Past
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0Are Poison Control Centers equipped to deal with the complications of incredibly expired milk and fae anatomy? I have my doubts.
Why do they even have that milk? Is it even milk anymore? Probably not. I imagine it has gone through many changes in its long existence. It has probably gone from liquid to solid and back many many times.
It is clearly not fit for consumption by anything, fae or otherwise.
In the folklore of Scotland and Northern England, there have been a great many varieties of fae-folk. One of the more beneficial creatures was the Brownie or Brounie (I’ve used the latter for clarity’s sake in the comic and I will continue with it here in the blog post), also known as the Urisk in Lowland Scotland (though the Urisk has some slightly different characteristics). When a brounie has taken an interest in one’s home it typically moves in to some unused space within the house itself, taking up residence and carefully watching the actions of the humans that reside there. While there have been some larger manors and homes that are said to have acquired brounie residents, most of them choose to live in poorer homes to help the human inhabitants with their duties and chores.
Brounies are clever creatures, typically described as being around 3 feet tall, but they have been depicted as much shorter (I chose to show them very small for the sake of the art). They are king things but with an odd streak in them. They take offense at being spoken directly to, preferring instead for humans to speak as if talking to themselves, allowing them to hear the troubles that bother men and women so that they might help. They like their privacy, never moving into rooms that are occupied by people, and some varieties (such as the Urisk) don’t even move into homes, but instead choose to live by notable landmarks in the area surrounding them, such as waterfalls, logs, and particularly nice caves. The brounie watches servants and children like a hawk and will complete any left undone, but they have been said to punish lazy individuals within the household in small ways.
For all the work they provide, brounies expect some kind of small payment, usually a bowl of milk or cream or a bit of honey. When you provide this reward, you must not call it a payment or they will take great offense and leave the house at once. Another way to lose the help of your brounie is to offer it clothes, one of the major characteristics of JK Rowling’s character, Dobby the House Elf.
One of the possible reasons that brounies don’t inhabit larger homes was that there were far more clothes lying around for the poor things to think were gifts. Poorer households in Scotland and England usually had only one or two sets of clothes.
There’s a story about a place called the House of Maxwell, that was supposedly inhabited by a brounie who was very close to the master’s daughter. When the daughter went into labor, the river nearby was flooding and the night was stormy. The loyal and courageous brounie grabbed a coat and a horse and rode off to fetch the midwife at once. He arrived safely and lead the woman, who thought him a particularly small servant on the murky night, to his mistress. As they traveled, she fearfully mentioned that they should avoid a nearby pool, thinking it the home of a brounie. Her companion laughed and said, “Have no fear goodwife, for you have met all the brounies you are likely to meet on this night!” The two made it to their destination and the master of the house and his daughter were both eternally grateful. The master, wanting to show his appreciation, offered to baptize the brounie, hoping to give him the benefit of eternal salvation. As the holy water touched the little fellow, he disappeared forever.
If your home happens to attract the attention of a helpful brounie, try your best not to offend them!
…or baptize them.
……or leave clothes out for them.
………..or feed them ancient milk.
I guess what I’m saying is, be careful in dealing with them!
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I thought those things went *poof* if you told anyone about them?
Also, that is only a gift if the brounies want to engage in bio-chemical warfare. >:(
Oh, are they like the aliens in “Alien Nation”? Rotten milk gets them drunk?
How the hell could someone possibly keep milk in their fridge from 14 years ago??
This comic has tiny fae-people that clean your house at night in it and your concern is with 14 year old milk!?
Well how do they have old milk in their fridge if tiny fae-people are supposed to be cleaning it? Sounds to me like they didn’t do a very good job.
Hahahaha this discussion is somehat reminiscent of the chicken and egg debate.
.. Maybe the fae people are new! Alev obviously didn’t believe in them until just now.
things you never see are easy to believe in but somebody letting milk sit for 14 years is crazy talk.
The brounies remind me of the two fae-people that helped cobble shoes at night in this fairy tale I read.
Yup! They’re the template for a lot of helpful home sprites!
My parents have a can of Pepsi(or was it Mt. Dew?) in their fridge from around the time the crummy Star Wars trilogy came out, because it has C3PO on it. I BELIEVE IN THE MILK.
Old milk is some terrible stuff! Likely the hospital would give terrible half-foam, half-liquid pink drinks to the poor brounies (and they don’t like to hear that foam is difficult to drink!)!
The Nac Mac Feegle would probably have appreciated the rotten milk as long as it got them drunk or at least did strange things to their perception of reality.
Love the brownie with the lamp shade on its head.
Welp, that proves that religion is evil, at least :p
Thanks for providing one of the few intelligent comics on the web.
…I totally thought “Bronies” at first and got super confused.
It’s all fun and games till someone baptises a brounie
This new font is so much better
Douchebag Lil K:
Gives Brounies the rest of the old milk
Puts empty carton back in the fridge
I have had this happen once.
The milk, not the fae. Just to clarify. Alright, maybe the fae too, but that was a different time. The point is I’ve had milk that somehow got shoved waaay the heck into the back of the fridge and hidden on the wrong shelf for a few months…
Let me put it to you this way: you’d know something’s wrong because it “clunks” because there’s something solid inside of it.
I have no idea what was inside, if it curdled, turned into cheese or was pure mold or what since I wasn’t brave enough to check. Recycling be damned, it went in the garbage without even trying to empty it first. I don’t think it’d be possible to recycle that anyway…