Christmas Gifts
There are many places on this earth with very strange traditions. In some of these places, it isn’t enough to just be weird, they have to get straight fucking crazy. During a time normally marked by most westerners for charity, family, friends, and gifts, there are parts of Europe that recognize more than the traditional red clothed fat man at this time of year. No, this isn’t about baby Jesus. It’s more like a horrible hairy demon that punishes the kid’s on Santa’s naughty list by throwing them into a basket and beating them mercilessly with a switch. Some versions tell of the Krampus dragging particularly bad children to Hell. Merry Christmas, children!
This concept of the anti-Santa has been around for quite a while in Europe, and has taken on different forms, but the Krampus is easily the most well known and well defined character fitting this mold. Throughout Europe there have been other companions who followed St. Nicholas on his gift-laden tour de force across the world, but none of them have been as obviously sinister as our friend featured in the comic.
Nowadays, the Krampus is supposedly enjoying a bit of a popularity surge after a lull in the mid 20th Century. Some folks dress up as a rather impressive looking Krampus before Christmas and prance about the streets in some European cities, a practice I’d like to see start happening here in the United States. Nothing says Christmas like a horned hairy demon with a long tongue and a penchant for vengeance against misbehaving children. As a matter of fact, why don’t we just station a Krampus in every mall across the country? Holiday shopping would be a much more relaxing affair, I’m sure, if children everywhere were terrified of being taken away by a goddamn monster.
Oh wait, I’d forgotten. Adults are the ones that typically act like absolute maniacs over holiday sales.
Maybe the Krampus could expand his target demographic…
It’s a bit surprising to me that the Krampus never really made it here in the United States. It’s been a hallmark of American society to push blind justice and not to reward bad behavior. The Krampus is like a demonic Judge Judy. You’ve been bad? Suffer immediate and overly ridiculous punishment.
Give that guy a TV show. The ratings would be through the roof.
Anyway, I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season. I’d meant to wish people a happy Hanukkah, but finals week was a nightmare and I sort of missed the deadline for that one. Please accept my belated well-wishing.
That said, I hope everyone takes the time to appreciate their family and friends regardless of what you celebrate. I also hope that students enjoy the time they have away from school. Krampus knows I will!
Hopefully, I can now start catching up on comics instead of writing blog posts a day after when the comic should be up! Har Har!
Discussion (30) ¬
KRAMPUS!!!
I only wish I lived in a nation where it was acceptable, (nay, encouraged!) to dress like a humanoid bush-creature, take an enormous stick in hand, and charge through public spaces, beating innocent people alongside hundreds of similarly-dressed Krampus-brethren.
When America has a similar cultural event, I will be satisfied.
How would he not have noticed K there? that chair doesnt spin!
And Krampus supposedly should have the same abilities as Santa and would have known beforehand that the cookies were poisoned!
AND HOW WOULD HE HAVE MADE IT DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH THE FIRE GOING!?
AND WHY IS BLONDIE THERE ON CHRISTMAS? SHOULDNT HE BE WITH HIS OWN FAMILY?
OR IS CHRISTMAS TAKE YOUR SON TO WORK DAY FOR KRAMPUS AND YOU JUST KILLED HIS DAD!?
THIS COMIC IS A SHAM!
A FRAUDULENT MESS OF WORDS AND SCRIBBLES!
Oh, and merry christmas by the way.
Dude chill. Comics are for entertainment. They don’t have to portray accuracy in order to be funny. Sometimes a surprise, or irony is what makes it funny. Although your argument does have merit. Hmm.
i believe he is troll, son.
Though it would suck if Santa lowered his standards and classified you as “nice, but kind of an ass.” Then who would be laughing?
Poor poor Allev…he will be missed.
If I ever do have kids, before telling them stories about Santa, I’ll just tell them the story about Krampus.
Actually, no wait, Futurama’s Robot Santa would probably do the same trick, too. Who knows?
I just remembered some year ago, news were covering Christmas special and spent like 5 minutes discussing why some kids start crying when they sat on Santa’s lap.
… Is it a possibility that Santa and Krampus are ACTUALLY two faces of the same person?! Like Janus or Abraxas?
For you, I recommend the movie “Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale.”
Krampus was featured in the Christmas episode of the American cartoon, the Venture Brothers, summoned by the titular Venture brothers by accident from a necromancer’s spellbook.
Retail shoppers during the holiday season are animals.
Err. To clarify, fashion retail. They rip through everything, leaving half the stock on the floor, never put things back where they got them, and act as if every employee is a personal servant, or is intentionally denying them something. Seasonal work at a high fashion department store has taught me a lot.
I hear that. It goes for any place with clothing I’m afraid and it’s year round…
You can change it back to retail shoppers. Around here, people get trampled to death for sale rebates on seasonally-raised prices that ultimately end up HIGHER than normal prices anyway.
I hope Allev returns as a zombie :O
The image Santa enjoys in the USA is mainly due to the marketing team over at Coca Cola. Unless we can get Krampus slinging Pepsi I suspect he will stay obscure.
Dude, for serious I want a print of this comic. HILARIOUS~! 🙂
Color me surprised… I was wrong on so many levels reading this…
A) I thought you made up Krampus; never heard of that before.
2) As I thought you made it up, I also assumed you made the name; and deliberately used the sorry “Dracula/Alucard” style obfuscation.
iii) Therefore, i thought the underlying message was “Sup Mark”… and I was curious who Mark was…
Amazing how wrong you can be when you just start jumping to conclusions.
Haha… Krampus?
Sadly if we posted a Krampus in the malls around Santa some of the less spiritually inclined folk would cause massive issues, like spray painting the Hell Cave or beating the Krampus half to death.
Its an awesome idea though! An anti-belief system that doesn’t base itself in horrific rituals helps with punishment, unlike “bad kids get coal” getting “beat by a switch after getting shoved in a basket” is the best damn punishment from a non-corporeal being known to man!
I’m all for the merciless beating of horrible people. It’s only silly laws and my desire to avoid
butt rapedealing with possible negative consequences that keeps me off the streets spreading good will and cold justice.As always, thank you for the hilarious comic and the interesting blog. A very merry something to everyone.
hmm…..bad html skills. Let’s see….
I’m all for the merciless beating of horrible people. It’s only silly laws and my desire to avoid
butt rapedealing with possible negative consequences that keeps me off the streets spreading good will and cold justice.As always, thank you for the hilarious comic and the interesting blog. A very merry something to everyone.
Watch the trailer for “Rare Exports.” It’s essential about Krampus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RQlikX4vvw
I have to say that like you were into Kina right from the start I was into the Barenaked Ladies right when they first started in 1992 in Canada My romamotes and friends and I loved them when i lived in the USA and I bought back a tape of theirs, when nobody here had heard of them
I love that movie.
Did anyone else think after seeing this portrayal of santa about how santa and satan are anagrams?
Man I freaking love the Krampus. There just isn’t enough Krampus love in the States, I tell ya.
\Anybody else notice that Little K has a “Light Yagami” look on his face? Also, ALLEV IS A GUY!!!!!??????
Anyway, love the comic. Keep up the good work!