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0After the game, Zeus turned into a porpoise and banged the entire Croatian Olympic women’s beach volleyball team and then swam away.
It was the best Olympics ever.
With the Olympics almost over, I’ve been thinking…what would the patron deity of this whole spectacle think of what we’ve done with his games. It’s hard to imagine, considering the kind of changes that have been made, least of which is the number of events held. There’s one change we can be sure he would be happy with: women participating in sports. Zeus, you old pervert! Stop lookin’ at those finely toned buns!
The addition of women’s beach volleyball to the Olympics has certainly been an improvement for straight men, gay women, horny male deities, and butt-connoisseurs everywhere.
Sorry straight ladies and gay dudes, no more naked oil wrestling for you! You have my deepest sympathies. At least you’ve still got that rowing guy with his package there for the world to see, right?
Because really, when watching the best athletes from around the world compete, the most important thing is how they look, right? Of course it is.
So what was it that started all this off in the first place? There is a fair amount of mythology associated with the games, though there are differing versions about why it began. The simplest version states that it was the mighty hero, Heracles, that began the games to honor to his father, Zeus, after completing his famous labors. This is a common theme in all of the origin stories, however, this dedication to the chief of the ancient Greek divinities.
Back then, the Olympic games were really just the Olympic game, consisting only of the single stadium (200 yard) footrace. Every Olympiad, (4 years, the time between the Olympics) male members of Greek city states would arrive for the games and compete in this simple footrace, but over time, plenty of other games were attached to the event. Various other races including multi-stadium dashes and a version where competitors would wear full battle-gear were added. Eventually, chariot racing, wrestling, boxing, and discus throwing were also put on the list and every event was considered equally valuable, much as they are today (except equestrian dressage).
One thing is clear from the information we have on these ancient games: religion played a much bigger part in the early Olympics than they do today. It’s impossible to discuss the athletics without addressing the larger spiritual framework behind the events. Competing in the Olympics was, in a sense, a form of worship and is very much in line with the physical and spiritual connection present in much of ancient Greek religion. By pursuing greatness in the physical events, the Greek athletes were honoring Zeus and their other gods. Practice, training, competition, sweat, and often blood were a very real symbol of sacrifice to their deities.
Unfortunately, nowadays we’ve lost the true meaning of the games: honoring this horny old thunder god by beating other countries at sports.
Christians say put the “Christ” back in Christmas, well I’ve got a better idea:
Put Zeus back in the Olympics. Have you read about that guy at all?
He’s awesome. Or terrible, it’s hard to say.
One thing is for sure, he is certainly ridiculous.
0000
At least there’s still discus throwing though, isn’t there ?
He’s not awesome, he’s a violent rapist
He also hurls thunderbolts and beats up titans! I guess it’s a mixed bag.
Susanoo Vs Zeus
The jerk-off to end all jerk-offs!
This is a really disappointing comic.
I really appreciate the way you talk in your posts, because typically even if I don’t agree with the sentiment, you’re usually very thoughtful and conscious of the things you’re saying.
But women’s sports are not there for your enjoyment.
What needs to be understood, by pretty much every guy in our society ever, is that every damn day women get reminded in little ways that their bodies and their lives are not *really* quite their’s; A woman walking down the street will get cat-called, and every article ever on a female politician or athlete is going to talk about how she looks, not what she does. These women are f@#!ing amazing, talented athletes. The best in the world! And every single time they’re mentioned, dudes can’t help but make it about T&A.
And that’s pretty shitty.
Obviously humor is pretty awesome, and I think you do an awesome job of laughing at a lot of religious/mythic stuff without insulting and undermining it. Bt you need to recognize here that the joke you made is not for the people being objectified, the people on the inside, it’s the cheap privileged dude’s “hot chicks, amirite?” Which is sexist.
To compare: “The addition of women’s beach volleyball to the Olympics has certainly been an improvement for straight men, gay women, and butt-connoisseurs everywhere.”
vs.
http://www.metro.us/newyork/sports/article/1148979–what-if-every-olympic-sport-was-photographed-like-beach-volleyball
Rereading my above comment, it seems a bit more exasperated and berating than I might intend, but it still seems true.
What might be a better way to put it is that when I read this comic, I hear a dude, without malice, saying “isn’t it awesome that there’s these hot girls?”
And the problem with this isn’t the sentiment; there’s nothing wrong with saying “man, girls are cool, I like em!”, it’s that in coverage of powerful or successful women, be they business-women, or athletes, or politicians, there is a constant commentary and judgment on their bodies. In sports, in particular, this is the dominant narrative, and THAT is the problem. People ogle the dudes in the swim events, but when they get talked about, it’s about them as athletes, not as objects. This isn’t the case with female athletes, who are scrutinized for being under-feminine, too feminine, too ugly, too hot, etc.
This joke, and the post below it, though meant playfully (I’m pretty sure!), reinforces the dominant narrative of women being treated as things to look at first, and agents second. Again, I’m 100% for comedy about tricky things! But when a joke reinforces a harmful position, that’s when the joke (not the person!), becomes sexist or racist or what have you.
Good comment, it’s very much appreciated, I wish more people that had beef with a strip or post were able to comment this way.
I’d like to say that everything in the blog post is 100% tongue-in-cheek. I don’t objectify women, personally, I don’t even watch the Olympics. The joke in the strip and the opening paragraph is pretty relevant to the way I think Zeus would actually react to the current state of the Olympics. The jokes I’m making in the blog post were in no way meant to offend women or to be serious, though I understand what you’re getting at.
I know it is sometimes difficult for people to decipher the joking bits from my true feelings and intentions, and I’m sorry for that. Text is sometimes not the best medium. Suffice to say, I have to laugh at the worldview portrayed in the comic and that’s why I did it, because I actually think it’s really funny. There are a lot of people that find jokes offensive or that take them the wrong way but I’m not the sort of person that won’t make jokes because of that. Neither the strip nor the blog were intended to reinforce any particular narrative, ESPECIALLY not one that I don’t subscribe to or that would make anyone feel bad about themselves.
The fact of the matter is that this is the sort of world we live in right now and I agree that it is ridiculous. Zeus would probably feel right at home.
While I totally get (and got) the Zeus-is-a-pervert angle, part of the problem here is that, as Brian pointed out, more than a few male commentators have used essentially the same punchline in a way that very explicitly marks out female Olympians as the target of their jokes. Take it as an example of jerks ruining everything for the rest of us, if you will, but it’s difficult in this case to separate a simple joke about the characteristics ascribed to a mythical god from the very similar attitudes that are responsible, today, for minimising or even obscuring entirely the accomplishments of the world’s greatest female athletes.
I get what people are saying about this. It’s great people care about this however, there is a difference between standing up for something when there is clearly a victim or when a serious situation arises disrespecting people and taking a joke. People should stand up and say these things when the appropriate situation arises (for example; responding to how volleyball players are photographed), this isn’t one of those situations. Its a joke about Zeus. NO MORE, NO LESS hahah
I guess part of the problem is that I’m kind of a shut-in. I don’t really consume entertainment media the way other people do so I don’t really see these kinds of jokes made. Liz and I spent forever trying to think of mythological and folkloric angles on the Olympic games because I like to do some topical stuff every now and again. I get that a lot of guys are chauvinistic and part of the joke here is that things really haven’t changed too much since the time of the Ancient Greeks. Zeus was a pervert and he reflected the humorous and perverse nature of the male Greek mind. You’d think in several thousand years that we’d have got past that but we really haven’t.
I dunno, I guess I just find that funny. It’s cool if other people don’t, that’s life. Sorry if I offended anyone, but that was not my intention and rarely has been with any comic, I try to think about all the ways a strip can be interpreted to make sure that if I’m offending people, it’s at least intentional.
Another victim of the manocentric male-ocracy!…..or just a victim to Zeus being Zeus.
Zeuses gonna zeus.
Hey Brian, We all know what it’s like to have just graduated from a small liberal arts college with a major in basket weaving. This comic is written in jest about a Grecian God who was always portrayed as a pervert and a sociopath; not as a statement that ogling butts is the way to be. Don’t attack creative individuals with your low-brow coffee shop idealism. I get that you need to show how sensitive you are to women by attacking a joke comic, but choose your forum better next time; or at least go tell a real girl that you care about her.
~Thor
I get what you’re getting at, but I don’t really agree with the vehemence of it.
That is, I don’t think sexualization is the problem, but rather the problem is that sexualization is perceived by both sides of this issue as being an either/or thing. The Olympics is crammed wall to wall with tightly/lightly clad attractive-bodied people of both genders, and it’s pretty natural that that would be a part of people’s enjoyment in watching. That doesn’t preclude people from enjoying the athletic accomplishments, or disparage or diminish those accomplishments in any way (in fact they’d arguably mesh quite well, since extreme accomplishments are sexy in their own right, regardless of the athletes’ bodies).
While I agree that there are definitely some odd double standards at play RE: gender, and that the media and culture at large too often treat sexualization and objectification as sharing the same axis, it’s really hard for me to get onboard with the idea that the solution is to avoid (or demonize) sexualization in general. That seems like reactionary overcompensation + unwitting reinforcement of the same fallacy that’s the real root of the problem you’re fighting against.
Straight men and gay women have women’s volleyball, straight women and gay men have men’s swimming.
Fair deal.
Croatian*
Also, our players aren’t that hot
Aww, now I feel a little bad for wanting to point out that the ladies get the male gymnasts. But not bad enough to not say it.
I’m sure Zeus would appreciate those, too.
Male gymnasts? More like male divers. If we’re going for silly objectification here, let’s get to the incredibly low cut speedos 100% of the time.
Think I’m the only reader who detected smartassery and sarcasm in your social commentary of what female athletes have been reduced to in the Olympics. It’s extremely degrading. The general uniform seems to be a bikini. Gymnastics is nothing but teen girls in high-crotched leotards perking up their asses to the camera. And the only sport you’d think skimpy wear would make sense, swimming, actually added more to the uniform with everyone, men and women, wearing body suits to reduce drag. Swimming looks more modest than women’s running. C’mon.
I utterly refuse to watch the Olympics because of how obnoxious it is with that sort of thing. Women’s beach volleyball being the biggest violator of them all. And all the justifications are nonsense. It’s not for athletic reasons, or the men would be wearing similar little outfits. Its just to boost viewing ratings. Except those rating boosts are coming from perverts. All the wrong reasons to watch athletes competing on that level.
I think you missed the Woman’s Gymnastics. That was not ass perking, that was a bunch of 16 year olds who have stunted their own growth having their dreams ruined for the rest of their lives. The sad part was not the leotards, which were very modest and relied on sequins and stuff for looks, the sad part was those girls will be past their prime before they become adults and the will only ever have once chance at getting a medal.
Leotards have only one look, men and women. There is no high crotch leotard, or low chest leotard. In order for them to work they kinda need to be tight in a lot of awkward places, but they work. Have you ever tried to dance professionally in pants? I didn’t know you could get your foot caught like that in your own clothes until then -.-
That is seriously one of the bleakest things I have ever had said to me. Wow. I feel like I fell into a dark pit of despair, lol
I don’t think too highly of leotards regardless. I’ve seen the men’s gymnastics competition, they’re wearing fit pants and rocking it, no problem, no bare legging it in skimpy wear that barely covers their stuff life the girls. To me, its just obnoxious and absurd. There is nothing modest about it. They look almost naked from the waist down. And considering they’re not allowed to wear underwear underneath, they technically are almost naked from the waist down.
Maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe society is underthinking it. All I know is you really brought my mood down with that crushed spirits and broke dreams bit. Holy crap that is so damn bleak.
I don’t recall, I wasn’t checking… But usually leotards come with tights. Covers you from your toes to your tummy, even though it is kinda transparent. Tights usually have extra material over certain areas because underwear in tight clothes looks ridiculous. I do think there could be some more coverage, though.
In dance, yes, tights. Which, believe it or not, I know how they work and fit, but thanks for the description regardless. Gymnastics, totally bare legging it, so the no underwear thing is ridiculous. Not that they seem to have any room for underwear, it seems to barely cover anything below the waist. Again, the men do just fine without showing a little leg, so to me the leotard is pointless beyond exploitation.
But back to broken dreams etc for a second. I’d REALLY like to think everyone who is participating in the Olympics, whether they win or lose, feel a strong sense of pride they made it that far. Even if they lost, they were still worthy enough to enter the highest level of athleticism and that alone is an amazing accomplishment. But I’m an optimist at heart.
Yes, I think Zeus could be impressed by just about any combination of bodily distensions; but would be offended by nylon muslin as opposed to velos or angora or woven fuzz reeds or whatever.
s/’Technical Fiber’/’Technicality Fiber’ Awesome combination of the wardrobe malfunction, IED and suicide vest. Very talented, highly skilled terrorists stand by the road and try to eject themselves 200m away from the wrestling suit they were wearing…[Lucha Master!]
How are the gymnast athletes being stunted again? The leotards are pressure cuffs? There were problems with armored backs on leotards with the mens’ McFarlane team?
Of course a lot of them are pretty hammered having to do the ‘hoookay, who wants to see professional volleyball/ obstacle kayaking/ whatever’ in the bodies the sport hands to them. On one hand yes, I definitely want to kick the national exclusives thing (NBC) and the NIH (profanely clinical aspects only) looks of the proceedings, on the other I don’t care and think the real estate taken from the library for the gym feeds a sanctioned bloodletting and poisoning with no purpose but its own fey rite. That’s been a heavier loss; diversity. I want to kick ass at nominative sports with an only 82% perfect wardrobe and a body I got at a Starbucks, thank you. The Nebraska Family (of Trigun fame, esp. the series) almost looked noble by that standard, using happenstance bulk as vault assists, hard-worn bare feet, etc.
But those girls in the last panel aren’t volleyball players? Or… wait a sec…*goes to ask google*
Okay, so they changed it this year. Before that, though “women must compete in bra-style tops and bikini bottoms that must not exceed six centimetres in width at the hip”. That was part of the rules…
That is incredible…how was that even a rule? I like how the main reason behind changing it was to respect cultural and religious beliefs and not because that rule is asinine.
I thought they changed it this year to accommodate for the weather. But I’ve only heard that mentioned, I’ve never looked into it.
The discussions here highlight one of the reasons why…
Dude – Dressage is F***ing amazing. Pisses me off how just because a politician has a horse competing, the entire sport seems to be degraded. Granted it’s about as stimulating as a baseball game when they’re doing their tests. Freestyle though – it’s pretty amazing. If you haven’t seen it before, I highly recommend watching Blue Hors Matine in the 2006 WEG Freestyle Final. It’s amazing. Sadly, Blue Hors Matine was PTS in 2010 after she broke a leg in her pasture.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKQgTiqhPbw
I know that feel, liking a sport that is less popular. NBC doesn’t even bother to show it. The only way you can see it is through 5 hours of unedited footage that only shows the bouts on one of the strips and you have to sift through this huge thing with no announcer who knows what is going on and they are providing no information. Either that or a highlights condensed version that is two minuets long and just shows the points so you loose track of what is going on and who is doing what…
I think if you were to create a Hellenic word for the ass appreciation, it’s probably be ‘callipygiphile’ as in callipygous (beautiful buttocks) + phile (like) = a liker of a beautiful ass.
No comments regarding Zeus turning into a porpoise and creating a new generation of heroes who can go and do his dirty work for him?
He’d be a porpoise with a purpose.
Considering what I’ve read about the parties the Olympic athletes get up to, I think Zeus would find the Olympic gatherings quite pleasing.
If it helps, I know a lot (A LOT) of women who have been objectifying the male athletes just as much as I have the female ones.
I realise it’s wrong for anyone to objectify anyone, but people seem to be fixated on it happening to women…
Also, I agree we should strip everyone down and do this covered in oil… Might make the Judo and Wrestling a touch tricky though…
Hahaha I like this comment, oh Zeus you ol’ perv! Then again, I like looking at women’s bottoms too! And I’m a straight lady! It’s all in good fun, man or woman, or both. The Olympics are a fun event and while I’m always interested in the sports, I enjoy the physiques of all the players as well. In many ways I always find it inspiring, and realistically, every player is being judged on their looks as well as skills. Do you think when an athlete doesn’t receive a medal, everyone goes ‘Look at how buff their arms and butt are?” No. They’re focused on them not winning and reflecting on the situation. So I’m sorry, but I find it silly to focus on that in this article. I think that by now anyone who reads these comics should be able to tell when the artist is joking and when they’re serious. *shrug* But ah well, everyone perceives things differently, and we’re all allowed our opinions. Either way, good comic as always! I’m surprised you didn’t do an Olympic themed Happle Tea shirt! Then again, I’m sure shirts aren’t easy to just whip up and put out to sell. Peace my friend!