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Who knew the art of manipulating corpses with dark energies could be so much fun?

Probably everyone who has ever tried it.

Our good friend Jonathan P Necromancer makes his return after almost exactly a year! Apparently he and Lil K are buds now. Considering the sort of company that kid keeps, it’s not terribly surprising.

In lieu of the usual blog post where I jabber on about some topic present in the comic for the day, allow me to include this introductory page from “The Necromancer’s Handbook: A Beginner’s Beginning to the End”, a book which I have just made up and whose introductory page I have written myself. Please enjoy:

“So you’ve decided to raise the dead, but you don’t know where to start? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Within the hallowed pages that follow are various rites and rituals to help you get started with the basics of reanimating and controlling spirits, corpses, and the occasional lesser demon. Keep in mind that it is always in the best interest of the practitioner to stay within his or her skill level lest the dark powers take control!

You may be asking yourself, what is the benefit of all the hard work, the clothing stains, and the very likely criminal record I will be acquiring through my initial foray into the world of necromantic activities. While this is, indeed, a Beginner’s guide, the practical applications of the knowledge contained within, dear reader, are innumerable. Reanimating and controlling dead rodents (chapters 1 through 7), for instance, may seem trivial to the untrained, but many of the greatest Necromancers throughout history have made their fortunes with tiny rodent circuses in which their new thralls performed incredible feats. ‘Yes, but what of the zombies? What of the hordes of spirits? When will my undead army be ready for world conquest?’ you ask. We must be able to shamble slowly before we can lurch quickly, practitioner!

Now, the most important part of preparing for our practice is to choose an ideal location for manipulating the dead. Is there an ample supply of corpses nearby or will there be soon? Are there rodents, bugs, or small reptiles in the area for our first attempts? Is there a large cemetery nearby or will there be due to plague, warfare, or your own uncontrollable bloodlust for later work? These are important questions as the necromancer must always be aware of how his surroundings relate to his art. Corpses are our lifeblood, so to speak!

Now that you’ve found a suitable location, it is important to cover some of the most basic tools used in grave-wizardry. Shovels, for instance, are of great importance. Never underestimate the power of a quality digging tool in both uncovering corpses and creating new ones, should the need arise! Ritual altars, cauldrons of varying sizes, and drawing tools are also necessary in the art of necromancy and can typically be found in your local black magick shop. If no shop is available in your area, selling one’s soul (if one has not already done so) may also be an option and a way to acquire some very ghoulishly crafted implements.

So we have our location, we have our corpses, and we have our implements. All is ready for the next great Necromancer to make his or her way into the world with the undead at their command! Prepare yourself, dear reader, for the incredible power, the horrific sights, and the rather unpleasant smell that you will have to get used to!

Please continue to the next chapter: My First Familiar: The Reanimated Mouse (page 3).”

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