For thousands of years there have been strange tales from the frigid mountains of Asia. Frightened people talk around the fire of a beast covered in snow white fur that stalks the landscape, devouring goats and cows and terrifying the people in his range. What scares them most? Is it his claws? His large stature? His fanged teeth? Nay, it is none of these.

For the beast has a naked scalp!

Horror of horrors!

(I know he technically has a scalp in the comic. They just got the upper bits, eh?)

But seriously, there have been photos and tales from folks interested in the cryptozoological arts for years now, but few are as famous as photos and stories of the Khumjung yeti scalp. Supposedly an artifact of great cultural importance to people in the village that surrounds the monastery, testing was performed on the scalp long ago that found the whole thing was a fake. Unsurprisingly, it was manufactured from the skin of one of the plentiful Himalayan mountain goats that live in the area, but many people remain tantalized by the stories of the yeti. Is it possible that such a creature exists? Maybe. Has there ever been any serious evidence? Unfortunately for enthusiasts of ape-like man-creatures, no.

The yeti is one of those things, much like the Sasquatch, that seems to harken back to our own evolutionary roots and to remind of us our own internal struggle with the beast within. As humans, we are always looking for ourselves in the world around us. We give names to our pets and treat animals as if they have human personalities. The yeti and the Sasquatch, it is my belief, are reflections of our navel-gazing nature. They represent the bestial side of ourselves, the side with animalistic tendencies. There’s a reason the stories and concepts frighten and intrigue people. Something so like us yet decidedly unlike us is difficult to rationalize. What would these creatures do? Would they have intelligence? Would they hate us? A host of questions arises at the mere thought.

Now, I readily admit that I could be wrong, these are my thoughts and opinions after all. There may well be an as of yet unknown species of ape-like monster lurking on the edges of civilization. Equipped with some moderate intelligence, it’s not unreasonable to think they’d have been able to avoid detection for some time, though with aircraft and more and more people on this earth, it’s getting harder to believe this. I admit that the thought of undiscovered creatures, especially intelligent ones, is terrifically exciting to consider. I’d love if it were true, but you’d think there would be some evidence by now.

I guess it’s probably for the best, especially if people are going around scalping these poor things. That’s not how you want to start a relationship with creatures that could tear you in half. “Hello there, I’m Jim, I’m a human being and I just have to say, I looove your scalp!” -whack- -chop- “Hey thanks, see ya later!”

It wouldn’t be long before the things would stop walking serenely by for a blurry photoshoot and start taking our arms as souvenirs.

Though, on the other hand, bald IS beautiful. Maybe they’d thank us for helping them find a new look?