Anxiety
I really wanted to write a blog post for you all today but I am, unfortunately, feeling too much anxiety to do so.
I kid.
This is a more personal blog entry today so please bear with me.
I’m fairly certain this fragile human body of mine is trying to destroy itself and my conscious mind along with it. If it’s not one problem cropping up, it’s another, and that’s a tough thing for me to deal with, due to my nature. I”m the sort of person, like many of you I imagine, that doesn’t wish to be defined by his problems or his illnesses. I want to be known for my strengths, for my independence, for doing something difficult on my own. The thing is, everyone needs help sometimes and I’ve come to realize, in the last week or so, that it isn’t shameful to admit when you’re having a difficult time.
I’ve never been physically strong or tough. I can’t bench press huge amounts of weight, I can’t run a mile without getting winded, never mind ten or twenty, and I definitely can’t handle pain very well. I am, however, a fairly intelligent person and I have always been emotionally strong and independent. Over the years, I’ve clung to the idea that what I lacked physically, I more than made up for by being this emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually grounded person, someone friends and family could rely on when they were having tough times but never someone that had issues of his own. In the last year or two I’ve been facing steadily worsening anxiety. It went from mild nervousness in larger social settings a couple of years ago to outright panic in simple job interviews now, which is pretty unacceptable. I thought, for a long time, that it was just something that would pass, that if I could just conquer some situations (conventions, PAX, job interviews, etc) I would somehow just get better at it and the anxiety would fade, but that hasn’t been the case.
One of the biggest problems with this sort of anxiety is that it keeps you from going to anyone for help out of fear and worry. I’m terrified of taking medicine, I rarely even take aspirin, so I think pharmaceuticals are probably out of the question, but I’m exploring alternatives. Facing your problems rather than denying them and pushing them into a corner is a big step.
I’d like to finally resolve this for myself and for my friends and family. I can’t tell you how much I’ve wanted to attend more conventions but how difficult it is to cement any plans when I feel completely ill just before I go to them. I’m a social person at heart, my conscious mind finds all of this absolutely ridiculous, but my body has its own agenda it seems. I know, in my mind, that everything will be fine when I go to these things, that it’s silly to feel this way, but sometimes you can’t help how you feel.
Sometimes you need a little help along the path of life.
I apologize for the very Livejournal nature of this post. I feel awkward just typing this up for people to read and I’ve rewritten it about six times, but Happle Tea has long been a kind of therapy for me and it has been a sharing experience since the beginning. The point of all this isn’t to bemoan my fate or to complain about my problems (clearly I see the humor in the situation), but merely to point out that everyone goes through some shit times at some point. Everyone needs a little help from time to time.
Our problems don’t define us, the way we handle them does.
Discussion (43) ¬
I’m not sure if it’s his anxiety talking but I think there’s a word missing in the first frame.
Oh my gosh I accidentally a word.
I accidentally the whole dictionary.
he’s so cuuuuute. :3
Well at least he’s not anxious about having an anxiety disorder.
Never stop being awesome. Or I’ll find ya.
As a huge fan, and someone with extreme anxiety also, I want you to know that you’re definitely not alone in everything you’re feeling. I found huge relief with medication, but if pills aren’t the answer (even St John’s Wort, which is an herbal antianxiety and antidepression med) consider therapy… You can kick it, because you’re awesome, smart and even better, innately hilarious! I mean, accepting the situation and wanting to find a solution.
Also, chamomile or mint tea. Awesome.
“Our problems don’t define us, the way we handle them does.”
That line on your blog post. When you die, make sure that last line is carved onto your tombstone.
I’ve got anxiety problems as well. I contribute it to a really active imagination… because when I am worried that something will threaten me in some way, I can see hear, see, smell, and sense it overall in my mind so clearly that it becomes downright terrifying. Uugh. For a while, whenever I visualized something bad, I combated it with a vision of something good; perhaps I ought to begin to do that again. Despite this issue, my anxiety attacks occur at the weirdest times, when I’m perfectly calm and stress-free. And so I worry that they’re caused by something going wrong in my body… ~grumblemumble~
Good luck, yourself! It is freeing to escape from anxiety, even just a bit.
Get well soon, Mr. Maynard. Perhaps you should consider therapy if you’re not already trying it. I don’t mean that in a condescending dickish way, either. Sometimes people just need to talk to someone who will listen. Good luck with this. 🙂
As someone that does not have anxiety issues, I can’t actually know what it’s like to go through that, but I have a few close friends with some anxiety issues, so I know that it can be very difficult at times.
One thing I have noticed is that the people that I know that manifest these issues are some of the most creative people that I know. I wonder if there is a connection there? I’ll have to look into that.
Something that helped my friends is simply hearing other people talk about it. I’ve directed them to Penny Arcade, they’ve done a few clever comics about their anxiety issues (here, and here), and there was a PATV episode about dealing with anxiety, here.
Good luck!
I certainly hope you manage to kick it! I’ve anxiety too(Job interviews are the worst, I swear. And phones), and it’s not easy. Good luck!
I’d talk to a doctor. I understand your worries about modern pharma (esp the psychotropic varieties), but they really can help people!
I think you are on the right path, the first step is acknowledgement and you have taken it. Just remember that it is not anxiety that defines you, but how you overcome it. My family has a long history of bipolar and depression and it is something I have been aware of all my life. Often they have allowed their difficulties to define who they are and it has brought trials and tribulations to all of us. Long ago I decided that I would not be like them an let the manic or depression define me. How I dealt with them, how my friends and family helped, that would describe the kind of person I am.
And I hope that will show the person you are, not the anxiety.
Oh man. I’ve had major anxiety issues for years. I had such bad social anxiety that I couldn’t leave my room unless no one else was around. If someone came too close to me I’d start shaking and have to fight the urge to run away crying. I couldn’t use public bathrooms unless they were completely empty.
I can totally relate.
I took the pharmaceutical route of dealing with that problem, but what really helped me was my friends. Small steps and big leaps at the same time. Going to places where you know you won’t see the people around there again and then jumping right into conversation and small talk. Lots of panic attacks ensued, but I can now mostly talk to random people I see. 😛
I hope you find a way to conquer your anxieties. I let mine consume me years.
Well, I’m glad that you’re accepting and exploring your issues. 🙂 That’s, to me, the biggest step. It’s hard to admit you need help, but kind of a relief when you finally do. If you want to explore alternative medicines, I would definitely recommend seeing a qualified herbalist or naturopath. Herbs can be just as powerful as modern medications, and it’s better to have guidance in that respect. Therapy is good, too. I would also recommend seeing someone for massage on a regular basis. Massage can often calm the body down immensely! Just don’t go to Massage Envy or some other spa or chain. If you see an herbalist or a naturopath, ask if they have any suggestions for massage. Or, search for therapeutic massage in your area. Try to find an individual! 🙂 Good luck, and take care of yourself.
You’re the man, K. We all know you’ll find a way through this.
I think you are on the right path, as you yourself say. Being the strong one and pushing one’s own problems aside to storage won’t work forever – eventually your undealt with negative emotions get back to you in some way. Like an overflowing Inbox, or a backed up sewer. I myself have a similar problem.
The solution is probably two-way. The hardest part is fixing the root cause. One needs to deconstruct the strong person aspect of oneself built to put negative emotions aside instead of dealing with them. This is where you need smart and empathetic friends to help, as you are often insensitised to flaws in your own behaviour. In my experience friends are also important to help you carry on, as the process is painstaking.
The other part is dealing with the symptoms. Anxiety begets anxiety; the less time from last attack, the more likely a small bout of anxiety will go full-blown from simply fearing that it’ll go worse. Here it helps to learn to try to keep control of oneself; minor successes will gain self-confidence which will lead to more successes. Drugs will probably help a lot as well, but if you don’t want those, I’d recommend trying herbal anxiolytes (maybe add Valerian to what’s already been listed). It may help to make a ritual of it, for example with chamomile tea. Humans are susceptible to suggestion, both in good and bad.
I read your last sentence as “Humans are susceptible to suggestion, both in good and in bed.” Oops haha. Probably also true. 🙂
I work in a psychiatrist’s office and this strip is my new work desktop.
Please, please, please get some help for your anxiety. You have no idea how much better you will feel. Meds are scary, but a simple antidepressant will help a lot and you will feel soooooo much better. I’ve been on just a tiny bit of Prozac for years and it’s amazing how much it’s helped.
This is funny but oh well I had those. My mind will be up to think solutions for myself and try to do everything by myself, including working up to 5 am three days in a row (upsi?), but my silly body would refuse. Then I realized I had to hear my actually-not-so-silly body when it stop moving or started shaking at social situations, feel tired at all times, got pain everywhere without apparent cause. I felt like, if i could use telepathy I could cope just fine. Or course I dont have such powers … yet.
I had the option of taking prescribed pills too, but I refused. I was scared and more anxious about taking them so I tried other options. Now I’ve been doing many nice things instead like yoga, reading books, eating healthy, sleeping a normal person’s amount of time, talking out my problems, trying to rely more on people, having ‘me’ time for over one year now. Anxiety seems to be getting in control.
Yeah what I try to say is, yeah you can get through this and there are options.
Dont worry. Also dont worry about worrying or not worrying. Small nice things for you (body and mind) and a little help will work. Its going to be ok.
It’s very easy to be anxious and there’s usually some deep reason for it. For me it all came out when I got broken up with, university ended a I was unemployed living at home. I completely collapsed, complete with panic attacks and deep feelings of wanting to die. I am, as far as I am aware still alive.
Invariably all the people I have known that have had similar problems have been the witty, smart ones who everyone else thinks are really sorted. The problem with being clever and cynical about life is that you start to question your own position in life. It’s not a bad thing to do but it’s a much MUCH harder path than the blissfully unaware.
It might seem overwhelming and totally outside your control right now but you will be able to take control of it, pills *might* help but they won’t be a magical cure, even if you did want to take them. As other people have said, go and talk to someone about it. A sympathetic ear can really help more than you thing, especially if they’re a more impartial observer.
Your art is a huge plus, it’s great that you do it and a lot of us appreciate it, don’t forget that. It will help to keep you sane!
I do hope it gets better and keep us informed. I’m sure we’ll all do what we can to help, if there is a way for us to do so.
@iNerdier
“Invariably all the people I have known that have had similar problems have been the witty, smart ones who everyone else thinks are really sorted. The problem with being clever and cynical about life is that you start to question your own position in life. It’s not a bad thing to do but it’s a much MUCH harder path than the blissfully unaware.”
Thank you for this 😉 Makes my own anxiety issues feel a little bit better 😀
It took me a LONG time to finally go speak to someone about my anxiety and depression. The therapist thought it was the anxiety causing the depression symptoms, and when we “fixed” it with a small dose of medication, a lot of my anxiety symptoms also cleared up. Eventually she diagnosed me with “GAD- Generalized Anxiety Disorder”.
The therapist also said something similar though- she told me it’s usually the people who take time to examine their lives and their situations that seem to suffer the most for it. It’s almost a curse to be intelligent enough to pick apart our lives to see what makes us tick- or quake 😉
I didn’t feel it was right to take a pill to make me a happy person. It was only until after I started taking the pill that I realized I hadn’t been a happy person for a long time- and for the first time in a LONG time, I felt normal!! Now that I am in nursing school, and understand the action of anti-anxiety/depression meds, it makes sense to me how it could go on for so long without any seeming relief. There just wasn’t enough of seratonin in my brain to do the job anymore. The Celexa I take is designed to just make that chemical hang around in my brain a little longer. It doesn’t put happy chemicals there… just makes it take longer for the receptors to break down the seratonin. I’m glad my receptors are bathing in it. Makes life that much easier to handle. And BOY can I tell if I’ve accidentally missed a few doses (I’m horrible on remembering but I try)
I guess I’m being long-winded here. Everyone is different but all we can do is share our chemical fears, our symptoms and how they are affected, and hopefully you will find something that will make you better!
My sister (who also needs a medication) once told me that she realized she had a problem when she no longer could look at the things in her life that once brought her joy, and couldn’t remember how long it had been since she had. If you can’t recall the last time you didn’t feel like this, it might be time to go speak to someone, even if it’s only just speaking to them about it 🙂
Everybody else has seemed to got the recommendation side of things covered. I have anxiety and depression problems as well (Dysthymia with a side of General Anxiety Disorder according to the books) and it has taken me a long time to reach out for help. It’s still hard. To be quite honest, not everybody you meet will be helpful even after you put that effort in to combat your anxieties and ask for help. But really all you can do is keep going forward, because you won’t be happy with your life if you let this take over. Good luck! And if you end up needing funds for help with treatment, I’m sure I’m not the only one who would be willing to throw in a few bucks in thanks for Happle Tea’s existance.
I have an anxiety disorder – which kept leading me to major depressive episodes every 2 years or so and was destroying my life. Until I started getting help for it my life was getting smaller and smaller – to the point of considering suicide as an option.
But I got out through help.
Things I found helped were:
The medication. Taking it f was like having a curtain lifted from my life. Instead of channeling my energies into managing my anxieties, I could put them towards constructive projects.
Yoga, meditation and exercise. These help greatly with improving moods and easing anxiety.
The key to everything though was talking with a psychologist. Although the medication and exercise helped drastically, it didn’t resolve the underlying problems. It was only when I talked with a psychologist and began sorting out my psychological shit that things turned around.
What ever path you choose, I hope you find the peace of mind you deserve!
I thought of some links that might help:
http://ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome
(Online mental training to help with managing anxiety)
http://www.anxietyonline.org.au/
(It’s Australian, but you might find some good insights here)
“Our problems don’t define us, the way we handle them does.”
…Thank you.
I absolutely understand not wanting to be on anxiety medication.
I have generalized anxiety disorder with panic attacks, but only took medication for about a year. I want to be seen for what I can really do – not what the medication helps me to do.
However, that time with medication and a realization that it is at least partially out of my control, helped me to deal with it on a day-to-day basis. Normal things like phone calls still terrify me – but being at peace with your body’s abnormal reactions helps to get through them.
Speaking from personal experience, this can be a good thing. I have an anxiety disorder, and I am pursuing a degree in the field, which has been an incredibly positive experience for a thousand reasons. I’m no longer on medication to treat it, although it was incredibly helpful; it’s just no longer necessary. If medicine is the right thing, then it’s the right thing. If therapy is the right thing, then it’s the right thing. The best move for anyone to make is to investigate their options. For me, it was a combination of undergoing cognitive-behavior therapy, and practicing cognitive-behavior therapy as a clinician.
And for the record, it has been demonstrated over and over again that mild to moderate levels of anxiety increases performance across the board. If you can wrestle it down to that level, then you’re better for it! And like you say, K, it’s not about our problems, but what we do with them.
I hope this didn’t come off as preachy, sorry about that.
Have you ever read the [very] short story, Unmasking a Confidence Trickster by Franz Kafka? It’s a work that really struck me when I read it, having to do with those bogey men that appear as we try to make some social stride, blocking and redirecting us from our goals until the time has passed, or we allow them to carry us home in their pockets. It’s a work related both because of it’s subject matter, and because of it’s author. Kafka was a notoriously depressed and anxious man, and yet produced some of the most poignant and thought provoking material the world has seen. Though these characteristics last, his work outshines them a hundred times over, revealing his true character and potential.
If I might be so bold, I feel this is much the same situation for you. I don’t claim to know you personally, only through these comics and your blog posts, but as I recognize the genius in Kafka through his writing I see it in your work as well. As someone who personally battles anxiety and depression, I whole heatedly thank you for the times when you’re comics have made me laugh, and when your blog posts have truly made me think. Recognize your ability and what it does for people, recognize that you are a strong person, a capable person, and carry that recognition with you in all aspects of life.
Seems like you have some pretty awesome fans, mate. I really love your work. Mythology along with story-telling in general are some of my favorite passions in life. I thoroughly enjoy reading strips where I have no idea what story your alluding to. It becomes a process of discovery where I add another tale to my collective. You’re very creative and intelligent individual, one who I assume enjoys pondering the vast complexities of the world. However don’t allow these thoughts to torment your soul. The world can be beautiful and joyous place.
As most of these comments will indicate to you “talking to someone” is good advice. I, like you considered myself to be the rock in the turbulent waters of life, and for most I think, they think, that’s true. However for those that know me more intimately know I’m just a piece of drift wood floating on by. I make mistakes and I know I will never be perfect in this astral plane. But its ok to make mistakes, and failure can be fun if you let it. At the very least you have a cool story. So try not to worry about putting on clothes or taking pills, I hear blankets are totally in this year. You have a lot people who appreciate you and your work. Whether its fans, friends or family you have people that care and they can make this process go easier. I admire your courage on making this post and strip. Stay solid…or thirsty… or whatever is kids “stay” this days.
Later.
While I did take the time to read the blog post, I’ve got quite a bit of stressful stuff to think about of my own right now so I didn’t read all the comments – it’s very possible a lot of this has been said already.
But to the matter at hand. I’ve had similar problems myself, though they were more to the depression/feeling down side of things, regardless, all I can say is that you’re very right. It’s NOT wrong at all to ask for help sometimes because no one is invincible, physically or mentally. Having tried both therapy and medication myself (I’m currently on something called Lamictal, smoothes out the “lows” a bit) I can’t honestly advocate one or the other.
It’s different for everyone and basically I’d say try both and make up your mind as to what works for you. A good therapist may be just as effective as meds (assuming you don’t have any bad side effects to the meds, I didn’t). Personally though, I found that therapy was more of a short-term solution and meds kept it stable and manageable afterwards (been fine for about uhm… 2-3 years now).
Finally, for what it’s worth coming from a stranger you haven’t met, I think it’s pretty clear based on what I’ve seen and read here that you’re a very smart guy and I think you can beat this 🙂
Your comic brightens my day every time I read it.
Sincerely,
Henrik,
A Swedish fan
Something Kat was saying waaay back in comment #5 or whatever.. about herbal therapy. She’s right about st. johns wort being a good aid, but it’s best taken long term for relief of mild symptoms. st.johns is a good choice because it doesnt mess with you in any other way.
My personal relief for over short term for more severe anxiety is something i stumbled across while trying to blend a tea for my roommates migraines. It’s a blend of an herb called skullcap along with a few other more common herbs. skullcap is a wonderful nerve tonic, and ive always had good luck with it.
Just so i don’t sound like some big-mouthed hippy I am legitimately a certified master herbalist, and study alternative and nautropathic medicine, more for fun than work.
🙂 i had the same issues with my ongoing depression K. ive suffered from depression and anxiety for all of my adult and teen life. take care of yourself, ok?
I recommend a book called Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers.
I’m the same as you,but this book has relieved me of my anxiety issues massively. I highly recommend it. 😀
I’ve had anxiety issues for years, and for a long time it went unrecognized and undiagnosed. It wasn’t until my anxiety landed me a weekend in the hospital for irregular heart rhythm during the time frame I was writing my thesis that I started to suggest there was a problem. It took another year before I admitted I had problems with anxiety, recognized that it didn’t have to be that way, and sought help for it. I can sympathize with what you’re going through, and it’s the worst feeling in the world to know that you’re overreacting to a situation or stresser and that you’re powerless to react otherwise.
There are so many great resources out there that will help you learn to cope with anxiety. I started out with therapy and meds, had to shop around a bit until I found the right therapist who jived with me, but I’ve learned so much! There are things I can do now when I start to have anxiety, red flags that I can now recognize and that now trigger coping techniques. It’s helped. My anxiety’s never gone away completely; it still creeps in from time to time, but I’ve been med free for more than a year and have gotten through some really tough times without going to pieces.
Hang in there, K. It can be slow going, but once you start to get a handle on things you’ll start to notice big differences.
I have been going through almost exactly the same thing for the past year with the addition of a rough breakup with an abusive girlfriend, so this comic and post struck me kind of personally, and I just want you to know that I (and all of your fans) are here for you, man. People always say that, and it basically never means anything to me, but speaking as someone who has been completely without support mechanisms due either to lacking close confidants or simply refusing to bother others with my perceived stupid problems, I can say that it’s something you shouldn’t take for granted. Also, don’t do that. That thing about not wanting to burden anyone with your issues or whine. That’s bad.
It’s such a weird complexity of life to have to deal with the often arbitrary intricacies of social interaction. Sometimes just having to talk to other people feels terrifying. But ultimately we manage. I am yet to see an obituary for a person killed by awkwardness.
Anyway, I’ll spare you my feelings on psychiatry, but I can say that drugs have worked for me. I have a slew of other physical problems they’ve done little for, but I do feel better. Just better in general. I can talk to most people without feeling insanely uncomfortable. There are still things other people say sometimes that just set me on edge, but I think that medicine exists for a reason, even if it is sometimes over- or mis-prescribed for people with conditions that are often mostly bullshit anyway. Ok, maybe I won’t entirely spare you my opinions. I’m not saying that you should take drugs, but that’s definitely an option. If you’re scared of side-effects I know that all of the things I’ve been prescribed have never had anything worse than a nosebleed listed.
Another thing you might try is meditation. I’m not a particularly religious person or one of those new-agey people, but lately I’ve tried to incorporate the Buddhist idea of mindfulness into my everyday life, and it’s helped a lot. It’s basically just being focused on the sensations of life and never letting yourself go on automatic. That may seem counterproductive if you think you’ll worry about doing things properly, but just being aware of what you’re doing and feeling throughout the day can be relaxing. It’s like mini-meditation all the time.
I guess I’ve sort of blathered on here, but I’m trying to say three things: 01.You have some options. 02. Shit isn’t as difficult as it often seems. 03. If I can get through this, so can you. Good luck, K.
The sheer number of posts responding to your anxiety issues is likely to have only made the situation worse, this page has become yet another crowded social scene to feared!
I kid, of course.
<3
Ha Ha Too anxious to take the anxiety medication made me laugh
Reading your blog post I can totally understand where you’re coming from. I developed Anxiety Disorder about 7 years ago. I came on totally out of the blue. I got really sick with it one weekend, I thought I was about to have a heart attack or something like that. As time has gone on I seem to have developed various phobias. Like you I struggle being around large groups of people. It makes me feel real claustrophobic. We went away for a convention only last weekend & I got so bad with what I call away-fron-home-aphobia that we had to come back home early. The best thing that I ever did was seek medical help as I find that while the medication doesn’t stop it it does help lessen the anxiety with general day-to-day stuff.
I get anxious about going out and calling people. I manage to go to work and school, but it’s hard to do other things without someone with me. I occasionally manage to make a doctor’s appointment, and was prescribed meds for anxiety/depression, but forgot to pick them up before I left and haven’t been able to make myself go get them… *too anxious to pick up anxiety meds* I’ve gotten better over the years, and keep thinking I will magically wake up one day and be 100% fine, but that really has a low probability of happening… lol
Hello, I ( used to ) have the same thing. Not being able to keep a job, not being able to be social, not being able to understand things and blinded by my fears. It’s a real bummer to try to live like that. It’s like being in a constant tension. But, trust me, exercise helps. I started walking two hours a day, and it made me realize a lot of stuff that is not important, and totally helped me stay in ‘the moment’ not thinking about the past, or fututre, but just embracing that everythings okay right now, makes it all go away. It takes time, like everything. But the happier you are, and the more you get out of the comfort zone, the faster and easier it will be. Don’t rush or judge yourself on not being able to do something. Anyone can do anything, and you are the boss of these feelings. It’s not like ‘taking control’, because that’s what you do when you are affraid. being affraid is your control. because if you don’t go anywhere, you feel nothing can go bad anyways. You need to let go of the strings, and embrace the unknown.
By the way I love your comics, i just found them today. I love the questions you have and the way to describe it. I am very interested in mythology so I ‘ get ‘ most of it without having to read about it below. But still I learned more about it from them. The only thing I find strange, is the way you make women look. Of course men are center story in most of the comics, but love and beauty and the grace of a female is not really being shown that much. Not to be a bitch.
bye x
Late to the share party, but better nate than lever, right? Or something.
I’ve suffered from varying levels of anxiety for as long as I remember; but I’m an abnormal case. Mine is PTSD-related, due to severe abuse at home, severe bullying at school, and having having no “safe place” I could hide from the harsh physical and emotional treatment. I won’t go into details, as it’s hardly important.
There’s often a cause for these things- a psychological reaction to, well, something. Understanding what led to it is the first hurdle.
Dealing with it, naturally, is a much harder one.
I’ve been out of school- and out of my parents’ house- for nigh-on ten years, and I’m still regularly panicky and nervous. Doing what I can to forward things- focussing on my health and fitness when I’m mentally up to it, trying to learn more about my art- helps. Feeling like I’m making progress is wonderful.
I’ll be happy when I finally get my appointment date with the subsidised counsellor, as well.
I hope you’re feeling better now; if not, that you will soon. (Still working my way forwards through your archives…!)
This world is a bit hostile to intelligent, sensitive people. I’m not saying there aren’t issues with your neurochemistry (or whatever), I’m saying you should recognize that your path is harder than some. You’re a target to a lot of people, not despite your resolve and empathy, but because of it.
You know what I mean? I bet you recognize popular assholes as assholes, where many people just see, “popular.” Shallow people will not like you because you will make them feel shallow, just by being deep.
Respect your strength and the difficulty of your journey. And good luck.