Leprechauns are said to be some of the most industrious and clever of the fae people in myth. As this comic illustrates, if they were really as clever as people say, they’d put those pots of gold somewhere safe rather than leaving them hanging around at the end of rainbows. You’re not going to be getting proper returns on that shit.

With a strategy like that, you’re just begging to be robbed.

Does anyone else think the mythological interaction between leprechauns and humans is kind of a fucked up power fantasy for us to revel in? Think about it. These creatures are small, (they’re supposed to be the largest of the mound dwelling creatures but, really, that’s peanuts) humans are big. They work hard their whole lives, being clever and crafty and hiding from people while they make shoes and mint gold coins or whatever else it is they do. Living for lengthy periods, it’s only a matter of time before they get caught by some giant bumbling oaf of a human and then they’ve got to give up their hard earned gold, as if they didn’t need it. Nobody on our side thinks this is a problem and you never hear a story about how someone caught a leprechaun but realized he should probably let the thing keep its money. Screw the leprechaun’s kids and wife, right? Who needs money? We do, the humans do.

Now that poor Leprechaun’s kid is forced to go into the family business. He’ll never get out of Ireland and make something of himself. He was going to be a doctor, damn it! He was going to save people.

Humanity is twisted.

It’s one thing to shamefully admit that you beat up and kidnapped a little person and proceeded to steal his money in some kind of mental fit. It’s another thing entirely for your culture to laud those actions and publicly encourage others to follow in your footsteps. It’s no wonder we don’t see Leprechauns anymore if that’s how we interacted with them in ages past. We left them destitute. Humanity was like a natural disaster visited upon their very doorstep. If they aren’t all living in boxes on the side of the road, poor and hungry, they’re likely dead due to this unsolvable economic crisis. Way to go humanity. This is why we can’t have nice things.

Yesterday was St. Patrick’s Day, a day I look at with loathing in my heart and a fruit smoothie in my hand. Loathing, because of what that day does to Boston, the city I live in, and the fruit smoothie because I really like fruit smoothies.

It’s not that I dislike the holiday itself, it’s just that I dislike when people yell and scream and get completely wasted at one in the afternoon on a Thursday. It’s already difficult enough living here if you’re the sort of person (as I am) that is quiet and enjoys other people being quiet living in a noisy city without massive quantities of alcohol thrown in the mix.

I freely admit that I am being a wet blanket. Either way, I do hope you enjoyed the holiday if it’s your sort of thing. I know everyone needs to really relax every once in a while. Life’s tough, booze makes it easier for most.

Speaking of life being tough. There are some incredible difficulties being faced by the Japanese people right now as a result of those earthquakes and subsequent tsunamis. My heart goes out to them and if there’s anything at all you can spare to help them, please visit the Red Cross site and donate. I’m pretty broke (being a student and all) but I’m throwing a few dollars over there to help out. Let’s help get the Japanese back on their feet. Without them, where would America get its seemingly endless supply of weird comic book pornography?