A Profitable Formula
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0Have you seen the trailer for this movie “Red Riding Hood”? Brought to you by the director of Twilight, the film seems hell bent on destroying fairy tales the way Twilight destroyed vampires. Not content to sit on their laurels, I’m sure they’ve already begun contemplating their next cash cow. Or should I say, cash bears?
While I’m a big believer in everyone’s right to like whatever they want, I’m also a big believer in the fact that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I’ve sure as shit got one of those. I talked about the Vampires thing before in a strip about Van Helsing, but this movie “Red Riding Hood” is taking it to the hoop in a big way, and by “hoop” I mean the dumpster and by “it” I mean classic storytelling. Yes, I understand, people do re imaginings all the time. I get it. You’re so damn creative because you took one story and made it something slightly different. BRILLIANT. Yes, I understand that even original stories typically utilize the elements and tropes of stories past, but this is personal and it’s evil.
Fairy Tales and Mythology are a vital part of any culture, whether you realize it or not. Your life (and everyone else’s, really) is affected by the stories that came along hundreds, sometimes thousands, of years ago and worked their way into the subconscious of your society. These stories (like Goldilocks, Red Riding Hood, The Bible, popular Greek myths, and the writings of Mark Twain to name a few) have helped to shape who we are today in subtle but powerful ways. Goldilocks and Red Riding Hood were popular tales meant to caution youths about the danger of setting off alone or dealing with strange places and people. Greek and Egyptian mythology shaped many later religions and made them what they are today. Things like these are incredibly important to us and we, stupidly, look at them as a society and think them worthless. We can learn from them, our children can learn even more. Unfortunately, the vast library of mythological and fairy tale storytelling are looked at merely as being remnants left to us from silly frivolous morons from the past. The reality is that the people that wrote these tales, whether they lived a hundred years ago or several thousand, were very much like us and and very much as intelligent.
The stories the people of the past have left us are part of the rich history of humanity and they have a context and a meaning that was important then and that remains important now. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with using some of the concepts contained within them or using them to create new stories, utilizing them as some kind of farm for capitalizing on silly trends is a huge disservice to them and to us. Never mind the fact that the entire film industry (and who are we kidding, the entertainment industry in general) are simply doing the least amount of conceptual work in order to create the most profit. Red Riding Hood is Twilight. All those Teen Supernatural Romance novels are Twilight. It’s not wrong, but it’s like candy. You shouldn’t eat too much or you’re going to get sick.
Only in this metaphor (simile, whatever), instead of throwing up, your brain melts.
Metaphorically speaking, of course.
What I’m advocating for here isn’t the complete annihilation of Twilight or books and films that follow the trend. What I’m looking for is some balance. Kids hear these stories when they’re little or learn them in school when they talk about the Ancient Greeks or the Ancient Egyptians, but rarely does anyone take these tales seriously or look at them as viable reading material. We have huge book stores with whole aisles dedicated to supernatural teen romance books and a single small shelf with a few mythology or fairy tale books tucked away in a corner. We go crazy for science fiction, fantasy, spy thrillers, or supernatural teen romance novels that all read like the same story with a few words moved around. These things shape us, and not always for the best. I know, I’ve been there, I read a ton of fantasy books when I was a kid. I’m here to tell you, I would have been much better off picking up a book on Greek myths or an Andrew Lang collection of Fairy Tales every once in a while.
These things have substance in a way that many modern novels don’t. These stories weren’t JUST entertainment, they were lessons for the people that heard them and that’s important. We should be able to kick back and enjoy a novel sometimes, but we should also broaden our horizons and expand our minds while we’re entertained other times.
Sooner or later we have to recognize when we’re being manipulated, and unfortunately, most media today is manipulation. How do I sell to you and do as little actual thinking as possible? We expect it from commercials and TV, but even writers and artists are guilty of it as well.
So rather than reading the same stuff over and over again, why not try something new (really old)? Grab some mythology books, the fun ones that just tell you the stories, and read them. Get an Andrew Lang collection and read the fairy tales he gathered. I think you’ll be surprised at how entertaining they can be.
I think you’ll also be surprised at just how much you might learn about yourself and about the people that helped pave the way for the lives we lead today.
Even if you don’t, at least you won’t have to read about girls dating abusive vampire boys or moody, upright bears.
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I don’t think I can express in mere words just how much I agree with you (so much I am commenting which is something I don’t do ever). I was thoroughly dismayed not just by the Red Riding Hood movie preview, but also by the Camelot miniseries preview I saw around the same time. Apparently Camelot is a modern retelling of the Arthurian legend without all that bogus chivalry and court junk that the Arthurian legend is, you know, ACTUALLY ABOUT. The actors in the commercial were actually talking about how it’s not about those things. I died a little inside that day.
Wait, what?
~Looks up trailers~
It… it seems so empty. It looks like the same story as all those other shows on television (the basic formula of which is: yelling+tits+fire), only the actors are in a new setting, and have changed their clothes. I am reading a book about Arthurian legend now, and it is so incredibly fulfilling… it sickens me to think that some people will only know this show in regards to the legend.
…I’d warrant a guess that not only is the show not about those things, but that also it’s not really about anything at all.
Whilst (whoeverdidthisfilm) does seem to be taking a fairy tale and melding it to their own profit-making purposes horribly obviously, at least there are still entertainment companies doing it well. Disney, for instance, has (in my opinion, ofc) always been good at taking a classic fairy tale and bringing it to life for a generation that was told these stories less often. Dreamworks did quite a good job of taking themes from all manner of old tales and blending them together into a cohesive storyline that has both familiar and new elements.
So, it’s not *all* bad
You’re right, it isn’t all bad. Disney stuff is pretty good at creating something that feels new while using the familiar bits of fairy tales and myth. The stories they come up with AREN’T the stories as they were originally intended to be told, but it feels more okay than things like Red Riding Hood because at least there’s a message to it.
I actually want to see it, even htough I’ve heard it’s horrible.
The nice thing about fairytals and other stories that you usually hear orally is that you can change them to suit who you are and the message you’re trying to convey.
Much like disney did.
Most very fairytales have incredibly adult and sometimes even gruesome and sexual plot twists or underlying imagery.
The end of the little mermaid is incredibly tragic and there si some pretty gruesome imagery all throughout the story – but when you think about it you think of this bubbly red head giving up her entire life for some dude she had physical contact with for all of 8 seconds. Wow awesome. (despite that, it’s still my favorite movie). Disney butchered tons of fairytales and sugarcoated main plot points. Consider that cinderella isn’t actually a fairytale, but a mishmash of fairytales and you’ll kind of get what i mean.
The stories also don’t really send the message across you think they do at first glance.
In many of these stories characters like wolves and bears ACTUALLY represent puberty and sexual awakening, so having it portray that literally isn’t really such a big deal.
Fairytales are for children, but if you actually read them you’ll see that the goal was the scare the ever loving shit out of children and entertain adults, which is what this movie kind of does, I think. (I haven’t actually seen it.)
That being said this director is a strange woman. In addition to rrh and twilight she also made THIRTEEN, lords of dogtown and a movie about the nativity. Yeah, figure that out. The Nativity Story was actually really tasteful. Check it out.
the main problem to be had with twilight and the like is that they’re not creating extended metaphors (and this might specifically be a problem with twilight fans), they’re creating awful, abusive, representative relationships for young girls (and fully grown women) to idolize.
i mean, i know i’m “not the best one to talk,” or at least to most people since i have a full, rather over-flowing collection of romance novels, but at least they stimulate my mind and vocabulary. reading the twilight books (and i imagine watching the movies) is like asking a second grader to write a book and then publishing it as is! now if they held some actual content, or promoted actual content, maybe.
personally i’m excited for beastly, but in the junk-food-this-is-going-to-add-ten-lbs-of-pure-fat-and-probably-kill-me-eventually kind of way. because, you know, i’m not expecting to learn an actual like story. whereas the people that promote these movies create them as cultural events that define a generation.
Can’t wait for the Goldilocks film. I’m team Baby Bear.
Phht, only Daddy bear can satisfy her needs.
Mama Bear would understand her emotionally though.
hahaha god, this is so wrong…
or JUST RIGHT
No way, she should go for the Wizard of Oz! Wait, wrong story o.o
(Btw lizgigg, love the pic XD *loves the dark crystal*)
I see a poster for Asspun. A movie full of puns about butts. They should have seen that instead.
also, with the tag supernatural I couldn’t help but see K and Allev as Sam and Dean…
The movie is Ass Puncher. He punches Asses. For justice.
Coming this Fall.
Will we see lil k seeing this movie, perhaps with troy and abed in the background.
just a one paneled “now this is a quality movie” gag
hahah Kick Puncher 4: This Time It’s Ass Kick Punching!
we’re seeing it.
…in costume
You got it!
I love Andrew Lang’s fairy tales. 12 Dancing Princesses was one of my personal favorites as a child. Currently the Crimson Fairy Book is sitting on my shelf.
Also, have you read the comic book series Fables? Because that last part with Goldilocks reminded me of it. I really think you’d enjoy it, especially because it mentions a lot of tales that have gotten less attention over time. It definitely takes an original look at these things.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Really. Funniest comic I’ve seen in ages.
You just took a feeling I’ve had in my gut for years and turned it into a blog post. This is the first I’ve heard of Red Riding Hood, as I’m too broke to afford a devil box or attend the local cinema, and I know I’m inevitably going to look up the trailer. I’m NOT looking forward to that. But it’s comforting to know I can be justifiably outraged beforehand.
Oh god, the implications…K, you’re a sick, sick guy. Nah I’m just kidding that was hilarious.
I read your rant for the first time and God, how much I agree! My first and favourite books were myths and fairy-tales – not those by Disney or some cute versions, but harsh, original things. And I am really grateful that my parents gave those things to me.
Although I raged hard lately when I discovered that the bookstores are full of Murakami and some faux-geisha-bullshit, but some classical Asian literature is nowhere to be found. Journey to the West was translated to my language long ago and only 25% of the whole book, and that’s all. I tried even on some ebays or other internet places, ready to read them in English, but no, originals are nowhere. There are adaptations, rewrited versions, with the name of translator and the guy who adapted are LARGER on the covers than names of original authors.
Life’s too harsh.
you should read his blog post every time, it’s one of my favorite parts about this comic. because, you know, he has a lot of brilliant things to say, and the comic goes way beyond just cracking jokes about mythology and old stories.
<3
I just want it known that I was here when you correctly predicted the next movie by the twilight guy.
So fucking true man! The thing about the myths and how we make them seem like the rantings of grandpa about his senility laced history is atrocious. My first stories and books were mythology and I think it was both positive and negative… but today it shaped me into the Pagan I am today. Why is more probable, a man of abnormal strength diverted a river to clean out cow crap or one walked ontop of it? That one turned water into wine (Dionysus) or that one turned water into wine (Jesus)… waitaminute! Yay comparative mythology and anthropology in general :3
I mostly agree with you, but I do have one small disagreement with you. In terms of both fairytales and mythology, the stories were not meant to have one true presentation, one true way of telling it. The reason these oral tales have so many layers of meaning is that they were told and retold, and they changed and adapted to new places and new times. The Andrew Lang books are amazing, but it’s important to understand that those are like taking a snapshot of changing, living story. Because of this, it makes perfect sense to re-imagine and retell the fairy tales in new settings and with new layers – as long as you stay somewhat true to the original meanings and ideas contained in them.
This is pretty much what I’m saying, though I didn’t get into the specifics of oral histories and storytelling. It’s not using these stories that bothers me, it’s people blatantly spitting on important pieces of culture by using them as a concept farm for the next big fad.
Someone on Facebook said it angered them that people were making money off these things but I don’t even see THAT as being wrong, necessarily. It’s the intent behind it and the ONLY intent in these new hollywood “re-imaginings” is cash money. That’s really the issue with Twilight and Red Riding Hood and their ilk.
Nevermind the fact that they give teenagers unrealistic and, frankly, harmful ideas of what relationships should be…
I decided to read a translation of Ovid’s Metamorphosis, it was only about 100 or so pages long, in large print with large margins on both sides. I learned so much more than even the single most delusional person could ever have from the thousands of pages worth of twilight.
Besides, you get Zeus trying to fornicate with anything that moves every other page in The Metamorphoses, whereas Bella and Edward’s sex life is as bleak as a nuclear holocaust.
Some of the first books I have read were myths. I spent a fairly large part of my childhood picking up as many books on Greek myths as I could. Looking back, it’s the stories of creation that fascinate me. While modern people look skeptically on things like that, the story of Arachne, and the story of that one guy who made a statue that came to life are some of the most… original? I can’t really think of the word to describe them. I love myths and mythology (although I am not beyond reading fantasy still, The Wise Man’s Fear!)
I just noticed this on Kristen Stewart’s IMDB page:
Snow White and the Huntsman (pre-production)
Snow White
Coming to theaters in 2012
I just threw up in my mouth
I grew up on fairy tales and Greek Myths like Icarus. What people are doing to these stories just rips me apart. They’re here to teach us a lesson that hopefully we don’t have to learn by ourselves. But I guess when little children start walking around being picked up by perverts, because they aren’t afraid of the big bad wolf, we know who to blame.
While I love your comic in general, and while I love this one in particular, and while I agree that some authors/directors/etc. are completely disregarding vital aspects of myths & fairy tales (that’s a whole lot of “whiles”), I also think that the *positive* aspect of this trend is far too frequently overlooked (and there is at least one positive!).
When teens and young adults head to the huge aisles dedicated to supernatural teen romance titles, pick up a book (or 12), and read them, firstly: they’re READING. And it’s not just teens who would be reading anyway (and maybe reading something of better quality), it’s teens who wouldn’t otherwise be reading at all. (Books like Twilight could be like the “gateway drug” to the addictive world of literature! I’m certainly not going to piss on that!).
And the fact that allusions to myths and fairy tales and literature are embedded within the text means that the “one small shelf” that holds the books on fairy tales and myths is getting more play and being visited more frequently. I have actually witnessed teens purchasing & reading copies of “Wuthering Heights” and “Romeo & Juliet” because Bella & Edward are reading them or talking about them in “Twilight.” Series like “Percy Jackson” by Rick Riordan and “The Last Apprentice” by Joseph Delaney feature gods and goddesses of the past, and some (granted, not all) readers are going to look these things up – or at least be more willing to delve into books of mythology and lore when they’re presented as gifts from well-meaning relatives (*ahem-ahem*).
Furthermore, not all of these books center around empty female characters, devoid of individuality and brain power, swooning after masculine creatures who treat them meanly. Some certainly are, and I hate that. But as for Stephenie Meyers…she’s Mormon – there’s inevitably going to be some wackiness going on in terms of her views on sexuality, gender, and relationships!) For instance, in the “Morganville Vampires” series, the protagonist is Claire, a smartypants college girl who gets in with the supernatural/goth crowd, but who remains ungothy and true to herself, while dating the best friend of a ghost turned vampire. She’s apprenticed to a vampire who plays the part of mad scientist, and spends a good chunk of time in his lab creating computer programs and developing chemicals to help save both the human & vampire populations. Also, (though she’s small in stature and lacks self-confidence, problems that a lot of teenage girls are going to be able to identify with) she learns archery to defend herself – how badass is that?
As a final note, I disagree with the idea that the new fairy tale adaptations are all disregarding didacticism, morals, and lessons. We live in a time when things are much more unsteady and uncertain. If tales from our generation tried to lecture about cut & dry good and evil, it’d ring untrue in our ears. I think these variations on old stories are still teaching something in some cases – they’re teaching readers about the grey that exists, as opposed to the black & white. They take old monsters and demons and give them souls and doubts and conflicted consciences. It’s like the opposite of what was done in Greek myths with the gods and goddesses (which is. I think, part of why the gods and goddesses are so interesting to me as girl raised in Catholic schools). From a modern religious standpoint, we tend to think of God as being Good and Perfect and Untainted. The Greek Gods and Goddesses were goodness tainted. The new werewolves and vampires and creatures of the night (though they’re not strictly of the night anymore and that’s kind of bogus), are evil with the possibility of redemption and the glimmer of goodness.
… Just sayin’.
You make some really great points here. Just wanted to let you know I really appreciate the comment! Reading is reading, and it’s certainly better than zoning out watching Jersey Shore or, really, just about anything else on television. Also, very good point about the shades of grey in literature.
I’d respond more to this but I’m terribly busy right now haha
P.S. Feel better!
I just spent the last couple hours reading the entirety of Happletea.
It’s bloody brilliant! It’s so refreshing to see beautifully illustrated panels with intelligent humor based on “inside jokes” that can be considered to be thousands of years old rather than solely relying on contemporary pop themes. It’s 6AM and I’ve been awake all night so I’m not sure if I am making sense with the whole words thing so…
oh blog so far this the funniest out of all of them
oh god. first a love triangle with a human, a werewolf, and a vampire. now like a love square with goldylocks and 3 different bears.
I, myself, read fairy tales quite often. I love them quite a bit and am a huge fan of them. I also love mythology as well. Vampires should be all scary, and blood-sucking and bite people, not be romantic and sparkle. e.e”
I got a collection of Greek legends when I was 7. My dad encouraged me to read them, and though I was reluctant at first, I did and I loved them. Since then I’ve read a lot of the Egyptian and Norse mythologies as well. My friends and I would read those over Twilight any day. And believe me, I’ve tried.
Not all authors are too bad, though. A lot of my favourite books when I was young were based around mythology and fairy tales, like Percy Jackson, The Kane Chronicles and Sisters Grimm just to name a few. They’re probably the reason I’m still interested in Ancient myths and fairy tales today.
Anyway, it’s nice to know that not everyone thinks that vampires should be sparkly ‘vegetarians’. Good day.
Haven’t seen the Red Riding Hood trailer so am not qualified to speak on that.
What I do have knowledge of is traditional stories. I’m here to tell you that, while they’re an important part of of cultural matrix, they’re not necessarily either lily white nor as definite as many people think.
Most traditional tales have gone thru multiple versions before reaching the version that we think of as “traditional” and “the right one”. Cinderella for example has been Ashputtel, and a version where she wears cat skins and another where she was actually a guy. At that point, it’s legitimate to say that a modern re-imagining may be lousy, but it’s way too late to say don’t mess with the original tale.
And as for what kind of message they’re sending, that too has shifted thru the centuries, and rightly so. Sleeping Beauty was originally raped awake. Cinderella needed a prince to save her from poverty. Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother died horribly.
I think that each generation retells the classic tales to reflect who they are at the time. While it’s useful to look at the tales in the past, the fact that they’re growing and evolving is not necessarily a bad thing
Could do without Twilight, though. It, in effect, would like to push us back to the values of yesteryear, and does that by retelling the story.
we hear complaints and shouts of rage about twilight anywhere at anytime, but i thought only i noticed that the red riding hood, AND NOW WITH WARM BODIES ALSO ZOMBIES are just being… do you know the sitcom news radio? ill qoute Bil Mcneille when he hears his edited tape:”you ripped out its heart, shoved it down its throat, stabbed it a few times and then made it throw it up on a cassete”. count dracula became a vampire via a contract with the devil for immortality, with a few twists in the contract such as burning in the sun, fearing garlic, no mirrors, nd infinite hunger for blood. the movies industry takes all the beauty, all the mythology, and just tears out the name of the mythos and puts it on some sort of emo self centerd teen model, making monsters and stories into an empty hull of what they used to be, long story short, what im trying to say, this is the best twilight parody i ever seen, i remove my hat for you
I consider anything that gets people interested in fairy tales a more-or-less good thing, though there are some gateways that make me twitch more than others. What I do personally, to counteract the drivel, is have weekly Fairy Tale Time every Summer at my local organic nursery because they’re nice and said I could. Most of the time my kids are the only ones there, but sometimes a few more kids come to hear ACTUAL FAIRY TALES. And I read them, not the nice cute Disney/PC/Fluffy versions, but the ones where there are red hot iron shoes, and axes, and depraved monarchs, etc. Because those are the versions that really breathe, at least for me, and I don’t want that to die out as people decide they’re “not age appropriate”.
I gotta tell you, though, my favorite times are when nobody else’s kids are there, because that’s when I read the REALLY COOL ones (the ones that might upset the parents). My kids’ favorite story last Summer was Bluebeard. And a little part of my wrinkled soul was mighty pleased about that. My kids, at least, will grow up knowing what real fairy tales are. And I’d like to think that means they’ll grow up knowing a monster when they see it, and will waste no time killing it, because that’s what you do with monsters. You don’t DATE them. muttermuttermuttermutter
Honestly I love the new versions of fairytales about as much as I love the old ones ~.~ I admit I have never seen this movie so I can’t judge it, but I love how many versions of a story there can be and the way others tell it. For example Alice in wonderland (My favorite out of everything, the rest can pretty much run off crying as long as I have my Alice :3) can be told as a bright tale of a girl that goes on a rather mysterious adventure in her own mind, while others can tell it as a dark tale of mystery, death, and insanity as a young girl is stuck in limbo and has to try to survive in her wonderland, that is no longer as wonderful, and all the misfortunes and nonsense that come with it while trying to not become mad as everyone else. This is just my intake on things though, and honestly I don’t really mind some of the paranormal romance, I am quite the little shipper (though ironically I hate romance anywhere else) they are starting to have in them as well I mean they are usually ruined when they are made into a movie, twilight is a perfect example, but the books are usually decent. and as long as they are not a total twilight remake I am cool with it~