Those silly Europeans should have taken more baths. Historians tell us that white folk murdered and diseased their way to conquest across the world, but it’s pretty obvious that the smell took care of it for them. The poor native people didn’t have the olfactory defenses to cope with sweaty Europeans that spent all their time on ships and riding horses.
Think about it.
Juan Ponce de Leon, king dick and first governor of Puerto Rico, has long been associated with the myth of the Fountain of Youth. While other explorers and conquistadors are known to have searched for it in their travels, only his name has become inseparable from the myth. The interesting bit is that it wasn’t until after the man died that his name became attached to this strange folktale. While there’s no modern historical evidence, there are accounts from various authors who never left Spain claiming that he had found these magical waters.
So what of the fountain itself? While some claimed that Ponce de Leon had found it, none ever say where exactly it was that he had located it, generally only going so far as to say it was somewhere in Florida. But hey, let’s face it, if that thing had been in Florida all the old people here in the States would be flocking the-
Oh my god.
Stories about rejuvenating water have been a part of cultures all across the globe for thousands of years. Water, that life-giving substance we all require to continue our existences, has been, without a doubt, one of the most widely used ritual substances. It has been a source of spiritual renewal, as in the ritual of Baptism, but it has also been spoken of as a means of physical rejuvenation in folktales and religion. There are stories from Europe about a well found at the edge of the world that contained the water of life; water that only the pure of heart could attain. In similar fashion, the Tales from the Arabian Nights also tell a story about water capable of bringing those on the cusp of death back to health. It’s a theme that’s been told and retold in countless ways and always reinforcing the concept of water being an essential component of life in a physical and spiritual sense.
Nowadays, people still search for their own personal Fountain of Youth in shopping malls and beauty salons all over the world. Water, though important, is less a factor than botox, collagen, and dangerous surgery. Every beauty shop, every plastic surgeon, however, makes the same extraordinary claims we’ve been hearing since the dawn of time: they have the ability to make you young again.
It has always been the fear of the young becoming old that has driven the stories and excitement. And why not? On this side of the equation, aging looks terrifying. You get wrinkles, lose your beauty, and become a doddering old fool.
Strange then, that people interviewed in a Gallup poll (340,000 people ages 18 to 85,) should show a very clear trend toward being happier as they get older. While you may lose some of your youthful beauty and heartiness, you also have the opportunity to gain wisdom, knowledge, and insight as you age. People focus so much on youth that they forget about perspective. By focusing on maintaining their youth, most people end up forgetting to live at all and that’s a terrible waste.
If good old Juan Ponce De Leon had actually found the Fountain of Youth, maybe we could all stay young forever, but nobody is quite sure what that world would look like. For now, aging is here to stay and since it’s inevitable, we might as well not worry about it. Instead, why not just lean back and enjoy the ride?
Enjoy your youth while you have it, appreciate it and savor it. When you’re older, you can look back fondly on those years and still appreciate the wisdom and experience you’ve accumulated on a life well lived.
If you’re hell bent on finding that Fountain, I guess you could head on out into those Everglades in a desperate bid for longevity, but I’m pretty sure that story isn’t going to end well.
Crocodiles care surprisingly little for quests of glory.
hahaha awesome…but it’s time to change your copyright – unless the fountain turned back the clock to 2011
)
Instead of “getting in the shower” say: “Getting into the fountain of aging!”
Is it me or do the speech bubbles look… off?
Very good comic otherwise, though!
Just a note, the speech bubbles in this one are a bit confusing. It appears that the gent on the ledge speaks in both first frames, and then the colors are switched halfway through.
Keep up the great comics!
The balloons in this strip seem to all be goofy. The guy standing outside the water is speaking in panel one, and the balloon tail/color suggest he is also speaking in panel 2. The color is backwards again in panels 3 and 4.
Haha Jeez you guys are quick! Yeah, I messed up the speech bubbles, they’re fixed now
Thanks for letting me know! I just got so caught up in trying to finish the strip today that I rushed the bubbles! Woops!
Ho ho ho! “Youthenizing” process, indeed!
Alligators, K. We have alligators in Florida. Slightly less vicious I think.
Woops! They’re much more tolerant of quests for personal glory!
Er, actually, we have both
(At least, in the southern parts of the everglades, though the stories about the fountain of youth would place it no further south than Cocoa Beach, so moot point)
Nice
It’s Capitán btw
also, when will you draw some Aztec or Mayan influenced comic?
I love taking long showers and baths, but I bleeding hate those wrinklifications that come to my hands!
Is this why when I go a few days without showering I feel younger?
it’s capitán not capítan
This is especially funny as I live in Florida. Now if there was a fountain to make old people better drivers…
While undoubtedly older folks do poll as happier than younger folks on average, you have to control for other factors before you can assert a causative relationship (if ever).
In this particular instance, it has little to do with age I think – older people have spent their lives accumulating some wealth, and on average are more wealthy than their younger peers. Up to a certain point wealth correlates strongly with happiness, presumably until you reach the point where figuring out how to spend it is a hassle and hippies occupy your lawn.
europeans
1. are not silly
2. do bath
3. are forefathers of a considerable percentage of americans
and the governor of puerto rico, since he is the governer of it, is puerto rican, by law i would suggest, regardless of his ancestry, and puerto rico does not belong to europe
1. Europeans are just as silly as everyone else.
2. They bathe NOW, but baths were long considered a once or twice a year affair in most parts of Europe, such as where Ponce De Leon came from.
3. Yes they are, but who said they weren’t? I’m of European ancestry only a generation back, doesn’t make Europe any more or less silly than America.
You are correct, legally, Ponce De Leon would have been Puerto Rican, but he was definitely a European seeing as how the state of Puerto Rico hadn’t really been around all that long. At that time, Puerto Rico DEFINITELY belonged (colonially speaking) to Spain and he considered himself a Spaniard.
Not entirely sure what this comment is about but I hope that clarifies a few things.
1. Europeans are just as silly as everyone else.
that does not permit anyone to address europeans as “those silly europeans” .. that was the source of my comment
I’m afraid you’re mistaken. I can call Europeans silly (or anyone else for that matter) if I so desire. It’s called satire. I’m not saying all Europeans today are stupid or that they are assholes or anything of that nature. I’m making a joke. If you find that offensive, this probably isn’t the best website for you to frequent. Seems like you’re taking this a little bit too seriously, my friend!