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After completing his breakfast, Lil K was left with five screws, an oddly shaped wing-nut-sort-of-thing, and a small bag of chopped onions, none of which were mentioned by the manual that came with the kit.

Liz and I visited Ikea last week and it was quite the experience. Not a good experience, but an experience nonetheless. We’d initially entered the place to pick up a couple of desks and chairs but this simple quest somehow turned into a Herculean task that tested my patience in ways I had not expected. In the end, we did acquire our desks and chairs but the emotional and spiritual cost was too great. My spirit is now shattered.

I’m pretty sure that all Ikea stores are modeled after some circle of Hell not mentioned in Dante’s famous tale. The winding paths, the endless showrooms of shit nobody could possibly need, the hollow eyed human husks that wander aimlessly like the risen dead ever encroaching on your personal space are all clues directing us to the infernal designer. No one but Lucifer himself, the fallen one, could possibly conceive of such a place. Well, maybe Cthulhu could, but from what I hear he’s pretty lazy. I doubt he’d wake up just to offer some evil design recommendations to the Swedes. Then again, maybe I underestimate the fellow’s penchant for spreading madness or his love for the Swedes. Either is possible.

This Ikea breakfast is a real thing, by the way, they actually offer this at their stores. I’m not sure what sort of person eats breakfast at an Ikea but if you are one of those people, I wish you luck in life. Your decision making skills probably are not your strongest trait.

If you can’t tell, I’m mostly joking.

I’m not particularly fond of Ikea, the place is a bit of a nightmare for me with all the people meandering awkwardly and the close quarters enforced by its narrow lanes and I most definitely do not understand people wanting to eat breakfast at a furniture store but all in all it’s not bad. Their furniture has certainly improved and they do make it pretty easy to build the stuff. The desk and chair I’m using are a big step up from what I was sitting at previously so I guess I can thank Ikea for that.

That said, I’m still pretty sure the devil designs their stores.

Sorry for the lack of comic on Friday, I was terribly ill all weekend long but I’m starting to recover! I’m working on a second comic for the week! Woo!

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